


"Let Me"

by iknowanicegirl, nicapark (iknowanicegirl)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Drama, Forbidden Love, Infidelity, Jinmark, Love Affair, M/M, Markjin, Marriage, Might break your heart, Romance, do prepare some tissues, i don't mean any harm but angst owns a special place in my heart, jjp, marknior, markson, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2020-09-01 12:18:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20257984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowanicegirl/pseuds/iknowanicegirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowanicegirl/pseuds/nicapark
Summary: 4 years.7 months.22 days, since they decided to end their affair and  return to their married lives.Today, Jinyoung receives a voicemail from Mark,"I still love you. If you love me too, meet me at the place tonight. Let’s runaway."prompt by: @markjintweets





	1. "One"

**Author's Note:**

> **NOTE:**
> 
> This is CHAPTERED. This has been previously posted in AFF (since I've been posting my works there, here in ao3 as well). The prompt above screams angst so please brace yourselves and prepare your hearts.

[May 1, 2018]

Jinyoung woke up as he felt the warm ray of sunlight hitting on the side of his face. 

He would love to stretch his arms, only if there weren't any arms wrapped around him. 

Jinyoung looked up only to see his face. He always loved staring at his face. He looked so peaceful and serene. Jinyoung sighed as he admired the beauty in front of him. He loves looking at the older's sleeping face. 

But then again, were there any instance when he didn't love staring at him?

From his chinky brown eyes, to his perfectly sculpted nose. How he envied his nose bridge. His thin lips which are always pink and never dry. He always wondered how he keeps it that way.

Letting out another sigh, Jinyoung brought his hand to his lover's face, reaching for his blonde hair. Blonde looks good on him, Jinyoung thinks. He tucked some of the stray hair which are covering half of the older's face. Maybe it's time for him to have a haircut. He will remind him later.

Jinyoung glanced at the clock and saw that it's already past 8 in the morning. They're both heavy sleepers. That's proven. But they need to get their asses up. They have things to do. So he woke the older up.

"Mark..." He said softly. But Mark didn't even stir. "Hey, Mark?" He even tapped his shoulder.

But Mark is being his usual self. And his usual self often makes it hard for the younger to deal with him. Mark is older than Jinyoung. But the usual Mark acts like he is younger.

"Mark... Hey?" Jinyoung tried again, tapping his cheeks this time. "Hey, wake up."

Mark grunted but didn't do as he was told. Jinyoung, left with no other choice leaned it to kiss Mark on his lips. It was a very short and quick one but Jinyoung thinks it worked. Because, now, Mark finally opened his eyes. He's scrunching up his nose.

"Now I don't want to get up." the blonde lazily said and Jinyoung can't deny that he does find it cute. Mark tightened his arms around the younger. "Let's just stay here in bed."

Mark's hoarse voice in the morning is not what Jinyoung wants to hear right now. So he pushed the older a bit. "Nope. We need to buy groceries."

It's already Sunday. Jinyoung has work tomorrow and he just can't allow it that there's no food in the refrigirator.

"I'll go cook our breakfast." He gave Mark the look. "You'd better be down in ten, or else..." He didn't even need to finish his sentence. Mark knows he's serious.

In the kitchen, Jinyoung could only smile as he perfected the sunny side up. All thanks to the trick his friend Bambam has taught him. 

Just then, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. A smell of pine lingered on Jinyoung's nose. 

Mark is always clingy. But he's extra clingy today, or at least it's what Jinyoung thinks. But he's not the one to complain.

"Hmm.." Mark hummed. "Smells good."

Jinyoung felt like rolling his eyes so he did. Mark can't see it anyway. "It's just eggs, Mark." 

He then felt Mark's lips grazing the side of his neck. "Not talking about the eggs." Mark turned him around so the younger is now facing him. 

And as soon as Mark's lips were moving against his, all Jinyoung could be is thankful that he brushed his teeth before leaving their bedroom.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"I think we bought too much." 

Mark said as he put the grocery bags on top of the kitchen counter.

Jinyoung headed straight to the fridge to get some water for him and Mark. They already ate lunch at the mall. So they spent the rest of the afternoon stacking up the refrigerator and the cupboards with the food that they have bought in the supermarket.

This man, all he ever eats is ramen. He could build a fort out of ramen packs, Jinyoung thought as he sees how many ramen packs Mark has bought this time again.

It was around four in the afternoon when Mark took a shower. Jinyoung waited for him on the bed, while watching television.

It was already six in the evening when he woke up, only to realize that he did fall asleep while waiting for Mark.

Jinyoung sat up and saw scattered rose petals on the floor of their bedroom. He was about to wear his slippers when he saw a post it attached to it. 

He read the note.

Everyday, I fall deeper in love with you. But I won't mind falling even further.

Now he cannot hide his smile. When Mark acts like this, he becomes super soft.

Jinyoung wore his slippers and headed outside the bedroom.

He now sees Mark, standing beside the dining table, holding a bouquet of yellow tulips. He should've expected it's going to be this romantic as soon as he saw those scattered rose petals. 

Jinyoung stared at the blonde who is dressed in a long sleeved white shirt. 

This beautiful man. 

His face is lit up by the candles around the table, making him look even more beautiful.

"What's this?" Jinyoung asked as Mark handed him the tulips.

"Well, this isn't new for someone like me, who is incredibly in love with someone like you." He even winked, that it almost made Jinyoung's heart melt at the sight. He really knows how to make the most of their time together.

"You look breathtakingly lovely today, Nyoung."

Mark whispered to his ears as they were dancing slowly. There is no music. But Mark said that it's enough to hear two hearts beating for each other. And Jinyoung couldn't agree more. 

"No, scratch that. You always take my breath away, anyway."

Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

He's just wearing a gray shirt and sweatpants. How could Mark say he's breathtakingly beautiful? He's too much.

He playfully hit the blonde's arm as he pulled him closer and swayed to his beat.

A short moment after, Mark is humming. Jinyoung closed his eyes to listen to him as he started singing.

"Today you are especially lovely to me..."

Jinyoung resisted his urge to laugh because he knew too well that Mark isn't one for singing. 

But he's trying 

And besides, he loves him.

"Tonight is our just one chance. Can I hug you? Don't be afraid."

Mark pulled away to stare at his face.

"Today, we come together."

Mark tucked his stray hair on his right ear and caressed his cheek. Jinyoung leaned into his touch.

"I love you so much. But you already know that, right?" Jinyoung nodded, closing his eyes and touching Mark's hand on his cheek.

He opened his eyes again only to be met with Mark's eyes which were filled with the same emotion and intensity.

Without saying anything, Jinyoung leaned closer. And as if reading his thoughts, Mark's lips met his halfway.

It always feels like the first time when he's kissing Mark. It's always different. It's a kiss that is not rushing anything. It takes its time. It's the kind that soothes his feeling and not quicken his heartrate. 

It makes him feel calm, and contented. Loved, and happy. It's a kiss that tells him he's Mark's, and that Mark's his. It's a kiss which makes Jinyoung decide to never let him go. 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

[May 2, 2018]

Jinyoung woke up, feeling butterfly kisses on his face. 

It's Monday again.

He squinted as he felt Mark's lips finally landing on his, waking him up fully.

"Good morning." Mark warmly greeted.

Jinyoung turned to look at the clock. It's only 6 a.m. Mark woke up early today. That's new.

"Morning." he quickly responded. 

As much as he wanted to stare at Mark's morning face, he needs to move. So he did.

Jinyoung reached for his robe and went inside the bathroom to take a shower. He wore the clothes which he prepared the night before.

When he went out, Mark is still lying on his side of the bed, watching his every move. Jinyoung just smiled at him and proceeded to fixing his self. 

He doesn't have much time to spare. He needs to get back to Seoul in an hour. Jinyoung stood up, only to hear Mark speak.

"Please stay."

This is why he hated waking up later than him. 

Jinyoung turned to look at him and smiled. That's all he could give to Mark, a sad smile.

"You and I both know that I can't."

He walked towards the blonde and sat beside him. He caressed his cheek and kissed him tenderly. 

"I love you, Mark." He said. "I love you, so much."

With this, he saw how Mark slowly smiled. "I love you too."

Jinyoung stood up once again and got his bag which he packed last night. He checked if he had packed everything he needs. He leaves some of his clothes here anyway.

"Nyoung?" 

Jinyoung hummed in response while he checks his bag.

"Have you signed them yet?"

The question made him stop. The papers. Mark is talking about the papers. Jinyoung stuttered to answer. "Uhm... I... I still..."

"You haven't?" Mark asked and Jinyoung could only avert his eyes from the older. "You haven't." Mark's voice is now low. And he's not asking anymore.

Jinyoung felt a sense of alarm as he saw how Mark bit his lips and stare down his hands. 

Fuck. He walked towards Mark as he spoke. "I just need time, Mark." There he said it. "It's just that...this is all so sudden and I haven't talked to dad yet. He'll be enraged if I decide things on my own all so suddenly."

Mark isn't speaking but his eyes were fixed on him. Jinyoung heaved a long sigh as he stood before Mark.

"Just give me more time. I need to fix things first. I need to talk to dad. And to him." Jinyoung sighed as he remembered his husband. "Can I leave him just like that? Could you also do that, Mark?"

There's a sudden change in Mark's expression. "I already did, Jinyoung." He said sternly. "I already arranged everything for us. I already have the papers and all I need is for you to sign them."

"But Mark, this is all so sudden."

"Sudden?" Mark snapped back. "This is sudden for you?" He scoffed. "We've been fucking around behind their backs for three fucking years, Jinyoung. And yet you're saying that me asking you to break it off with Jaebum is all so sudden?" 

Jinyoung closed his eyes for a brief moment before talking again.

"Mark..." he said calmly. "I'm just asking you to understand."

"Understand what?!" Mark's voice is laced with pain and disappointment. "I'll leave Jackson in a heartbeat. Even without you asking, Jinyoung. I'm ready to drop everything else just so we can be together, because that is how much I love you. I arranged everything so that we can stop hiding and be together without the fear of having someone else know about us. I want to love you madly, deeply and freely." Mark's chest moved up and down as he speaks. "Now tell me, what I don't understand."

Jinyoung's voice became impeded. He cannot answer back. What else can he say?

"Here I am, ready to leave everything for you. Yet, you can't do the same." Mark's eyes were full of hurt. Jinyoung hates seeing those eyes. And he hates himself more for causing it.

"Mark..." He softly said. "I can't.. I just can't disappoint them." He reached for Mark's hand and squeezed them gently. Hoping that he'll understand him, just like before. That he'll understand him, just like he always does. "Please just give me more time."

Mark looked at him for a couple of seconds before staring down at their intertwined hands.

"We'll talk about this next time." Jinyoung said. "I'll be back next weekend."

Jinyoung was about to kiss his cheek when Mark turned his face away. "You don't have to."

His brows were knitted as he stared at the older. But Mark's face was stern and void of any emotions. It's starting to scare Jinyoung. Those eyes which used to hold so much emotion when he's looking at him, now holds none.

"M-mark..."

"Just go back to your husband. That's where you rightfully belong anyway."

Jinyoung felt his heart clench and his hands go cold as he stared back at Mark's empty eyes. 

"I don't-"

"I don't think I can wait for another five days, before I get to be with you again." Mark said. "I don't think I can handle all my thoughts of how Jaebum touches you, and kisses you and lies in bed with you, doing God knows what. Realizing that he's the one who has the legal right to claim you as his and not me."

Jinyoung tried to get a hold of Mark's hand but he was quick to slip it off. 

"Mark, please don't do this." he could feel his eyes brimming with tears as he catches Mark's eyes. He doesn't want this. 

"I'm just giving you more than the time you actually need, Jinyoung." The way Mark is staring at him, breaks Jinyoung even more. "I don't want to make things any harder for you. You don't need to choose anymore. Just go and be with your husband. That'll be more convenient."

"Mark-"

"Just promise me one thing." Mark's cold eyes darted towards his. "Once you leave, you shouldn't return again."

Jinyoung's lips quivered as he tried to swallow back his tears.

"Stop treating me like something that you can drop anytime, and take back whenever you can or want to." Jinyoung's tears finally streamed down his face.

"No Mark, please don't say that. I love you so much, and I cannot leave you."

But Mark just smiled bitterly. "But isn't that what you always do?" 

He again tried to reach for Mark's hand but to no avail. 

"Just leave, Jinyoung." No... Jinyoung continues to cry. "And don't come back to me, unless you're planning to stay."

But Jinyoung didn't move. He doesn't want to leave like this.

"Mark, please-"

"I said go!!!"

Mark's voice resounded the whole room that it made Jinyoung jump. 

With his remaining strength, he stood up and gave Mark one last glance.

With his heavy feet, he walked out of the bedroom.

Out of Mark's life.


	2. "Two"

**[December 23, 2022]**

"Don't tell me things that I already know!" Jinyoung's voice thundered inside the four walled board room. 

Dae Wong, who is the project manager for the Build My Hope housing campaign and project almost jumped upon hearing the CEO's voice.

"But sir-"

"You're being paid to do proper research and all your spewing are things which I already know! Is this all that you can do, Mr. Cha?"

Jinyoung incessantly tapped the table with his mechanical pen. "You're being paid for a job that you can't even handle? Should I fire you now?!"

"No, Mr. Park..please... p-please give me another chance-"

"Gather your team and work your asses up and give me a proper presentation for fuck's sake!"

Jinyoung stood up as he scattered the folders across the table, making the poor project manager scramble on his feet to get those.

With one last spiteful glance, Jinyoung exited the board room and went straight to his office.

There's been a problem with the location that they're going for, for their new housing project. And up til now, the team he assigned is still not able to find a new location. It pisses him off to a whole new level.

He's now the CEO of Park Housing and Realty Corporation. The company his dad built. He's been running the business for more than four years now.

Since he graduated, his dad trained him to take his place. He helped his dad to save their company from crumbling to pieces. He did everything he could to save their company. He lost some, he gained some.

The fact that the company is running stable, is enough consolation for Jinyoung.

He sat on his swivel chair as he folded his legs. He's stressed alright. He doesn't need another conversation with another idiot again.

Just then, he heard a knock before he sees his secretary, Choi Youngjae peeking in.

"Sir, would I need to reschedule the next appointment that you have?"

His brows creased as he propped his elbow on his desk. "What appointment?"

"The one with Director Im?" 

Jinyoung sighed as he remembered his lunch date with his husband. He's that busy. Even his husband needs to set an appointment to get to see him during work hours.

"Did he say it's something important?"

Youngjae checked his phone, probably reading Jaebum's message. "I think not, sir. He hasn't mentioned anything. He just wants to eat lunch together."

"Then cancel it." He said without thinking twice. "We'll see each other in the evening anyway."

Youngjae stared at him as if wanting to say something but resorted to just nodding. "Okay, sir. I'll go tell Director Im."

When he's finally left alone, he sat back on his chair and blew out a long sigh.

It's been a tiring day. No, scratch that. It's been a tiring life.

The past four years has been nothing but complete pain for him. He'd like to blame everything on anyone else apart from him but, who is he kidding? It's all his own doing? 

He decided things. He had a choice but he chose this. So guess, he just have to deal with these shits for as long as he can.

He's gonna endure everything until he can't. Until he finally breaks.

"Hyung?"

Jinyoung saw one of his operational managers, and good friend Kim Yugyeom enter his office.

He walked inside, holding two cups of coffee. The younger gave him one. It's ice cold. Maybe to cool his temper down.

"That couldn't have gone any worse...could it?"

Yugyeom sat on the couch in front of him. "If you weren't my friend, I would've ran outside the board room. Hyung, you're so scary!"

Jinyoung sipped on his coffee as he leaned on his desk.

"Hyung, you need to calm down. Lately, you've been very restless and hot headed. Is there something bothering you? You know I'm here, right? You can always tell me."

Jinyoung massaged his temple. "Sorry, Gyeom. It's just...things are getting out of hand and I'm getting tired of..."

He just sighed instead of finishing his sentence.

He remembers those times when he felt so tired and worn out from work. But at the end of each tiring day he could always talk to him - his favorite someone.

"Bam and I are going out tonight. Maybe you'd like to go with us? So we can talk about your shits, hyung?"

Jinyoung nodded.

Maybe it's what he needs. 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

It's past 11 pm. And they're at this bar. The bar where they usually get together, all three of them - Yugyeom, Bambam and him.

The two were younger than him. But they all went to the same university. 

They took business management. But only Yugyeom works for him because Bambam took on another interest right after graduating. The Thai has ventured on his own business, video editing. He's talented in that aspect.

Unlike him, the two were happy, single and free. The two twenty five year olds are still bachelors. And how he envies them. They're living the life.

While he? Well he's still living the life he was forced to live. But no, let him rephrase that. He is living the life he regret he ever chose to live.

Seven bottles of beer later, Jinyoung is going over that same thing again.

"I should've... I should've fought for him, right?" He sniffed as he drank another gulp on his beer. "That's what I should've done. But, no! I was weak. I was stupid!" He felt his hot tears streaming down his face. But he cannot stop. Maybe it's because of the alcohol but he can't hide his vulnerability even if he tries to.

"And now, he's gone... And I miss him so bad. I miss him so, so, so bad."

Bambam tried to take the bottle away from his hyung. He pities the older. He only acts tough and not caring but in this state, he looks like a broken man. 

"Hyung, please stop drinking. You had too much!" Yugyeom said as Jinyoung tried to get his bottle back.

"I need this, Gyeom. This is the only thing that could help me forget, even just for the tiniest bit, of how lonely I am. Of how I am hurting from my regrets."

"Hyung, please..." Yugyeom tried.

"I am stupid. I am so stupid. I deserve this. I deserve all of this for leaving him like that. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have..."

And Jinyoung broke into tears as Bambam caught him before falling on his seat.

Jinyoung kept on crying as the younger hushed him. 

"Hyung, I don't want to hate Jaebum hyung, because to be honest, he's really been good and patient with you. He loves you, we can all see that." Bambam spoke as he stroke Jinyoung's back. 

"But if he's not making you happy, I don't think you should stay with him. You don't want to hurt him, we know. But, seeing how lonely you are, it breaks our hearts too, hyung."

Yugyeom also tapped his hyung's back. "We only want you to be truly happy, Jinyoung hyung."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Yugyeom drove him to his house where Jaebum is waiting for him.

Jinyoung is a bit sober now, he thinks. He managed to walk upstairs to their bedroom, without tumbling over Jaebum.

His husband walked with him, and kept on asking why he got drunk again.

When they got inside their room, Jaebum made him sit down and started to take his shoes off. 

"Is it because of a bad day in the office again?" Jaebum asked while taking his socks off. "Youngjae told me you were too stressed that's why you cancelled our lunch."

Jinyoung closed his eyes tight in the hopes of drowning Jaebum's voice. He's too kind. The guilt is eating him up alive.

"I understand how stressful it can be, being the CEO and all, but love, you can't always go to bars and go home wasted, just because things went out of hand at work."

Jaebum sat beside him, and took off his tie. "You need to take care of yourself more. How long are you going to keep this up? You're always making me worry."

All Jinyoung could do is sigh. "I'm sorry." it has been a habit.

He does something wrong. He says sorry. Jaebum forgives him. And then he'll fuck things up again. It's one sick routine. 

He felt Jaebum's hand on his hand, squeezing it gently. His husband's eyes were full of love and understanding, only making him taste something bitter in his mouth. "I just, I just worry about you a lot, Jinyoung. You can't take that off from me."

Jaebum's other hand moved to the back of his head and pulled him closer. He felt the older's lips on his forehead. He could cry. Jaebum is too much. He doesn't deserve him.

"Go and take a shower. Then we'll talk."

Without saying anything, Jinyoung walked towards the bathroom and into the shower. He let the warm water wash off his thoughts of a certain someone. 

Someone whom he had missed so much, it hurts. Someone who he wished was with him right now, instead of Jaebum.

When he went outside, his husband was still waiting for him on their bed. When he saw him, he turned the television on and helped him dry his hair.

"So, how are you feeling now?" Jaebum whispered. "All good?"

Jinyoung nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am." He chose to lie. Honesty will get him nowhere anyway.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

He shrugged and glanced at Jaebum. "Maybe some other time."

He saw Jaebum nod before he lied down on his side of the bed, with his back facing Jaebum.

He felt the side of Jaebum's bed move as the older lied down too. 

"Are you too tired?" He felt Jaebum's lips on his neck, leaving soft kisses. "I missed you, so much." 

Jinyoung closed his eyes. How did he keep on living this life? Spending each night with a man he doesn't love, and was only forced to marry?

When Jaebum's hand travelled south, Jinyoung stopped thinking.

He rolled on his side as Jaebum eased himself out of him. He pulled the sheets to cover his body.

It's cold, but the heater is doing its job.

He felt Jaebum kissed his nape. "Goodnight, love."

A tear escaped from Jinyoung's eyes as he closed it tight.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[December 24, 2022]**

Jinyoung is less stressed today. Yugyeom took the courtesy to search for a new location for their housing project. And it seems okay.

Now, it's one problem off Jinyoung's mind. He just thanked his friend.

He just came out from the board meeting. He's now having lunch with Yugyeom. But he went to his office first before meeting Yugyeom in the lounge.

Youngjae, his secretary called on him right before he could step inside the elevator.

"Sir!" He turned towards Youngjae. "Yes?"

"Uhm, there's someone who called earlier but you were in the board meeting. So he just left a voice mail."

Jinyoung nodded, not paying much attention because his stomach is his priority right now. "Okay, then."

"Sir, he left his name for you to know. It's-"

"I said it's okay, Youngjae." He interrupted the younger. "I need to go now, I'll check it later."

He didn't wait for the secretary's response. He walked inside the elevator and pushed the ground floor button.

While at lunch, Yugyeom is telling his story on how he managed to get the location for their housing project.

Turns out, one of the girls he met at this party was the daughter of Mr. Hong, the owner of the land property. 

And of course the young bachelor used his charms to get what he needs. Thanks to him and his handsome face, they now have a new place for their project.

"Because of that, I think you should treat me, hyung."

Jinyoung sneered at Yugyeom. "And what do you want to have?"

The younger seemed to think for a short while before answering.

"Well, I'm not really the materialistic type, so I have to ask something else."

Jinyoung listened as he ate another slice of grilled pork belly.

"Why don't you let me drop the formalities?" Jinyoung quirked his eyebrow. "You know, let me call you Jinyoung and not hyung?"

With that, Jinyoung took his chopsticks and hit the younger's forehead.

"Not happening, you brat!"

Yugyeom's laugh echoed in their booth. "Yeah, alright. I was just testing my chances."

Jinyoung shook his head as he laughed at the younger.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

It was past 7 pm and Jinyoung is about to head home because he finsihed his work, when he remembered checking his voicemail.

He also remembered what Youngjae said a while ago before lunch. About someone leaving him an important message.

A part of him wants to just go home and deal with the voicemail tomorrow. But a part of him wants to get things done and over with already.

He walked towards his phone and pushed on the button.

A beep after, he heard his voice.

_"Jinyoung..."_

He stiffened upon hearing that familiar voice.

_"This is all so sudden but, for the past years, I didn't stop thinking about you. I still love you. And if you love me too, meet me at the place tonight. Let's runaway."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am back. Hello to everyone reading!!! I hope you're enjoying your time reading. :)))


	3. "Three"

**[May 2, 2018]**

"...I cannot leave you." 

**_Mark _**tasted something bitter in his mouth when he heard these words from the younger. _He cannot leave me? _

Managing to give a sarcastic smile he spoke, "But isn't that what you always do?" challenging the other.

Jinyoung tried to reach for his hand but he restrained. _No, not this time. _

Mustering up all his courage, with a drip of hurt and betrayal, he looked at Jinyoung who is almost kneeling in front of him.

"Just leave, Jinyoung." He never thought it'd hurt this much saying those words. It only reminded him of the reason why he stayed in this relationship, no matter how fucked up it was. He can't let Jinyoung go. That's it. And that reason is enough for him.

But he can't do this anymore. 

With his unwavering gaze, he continued. "...and don't come back to me, unless you're planning to stay."

Mark saw how Jinyoung's eyes shed tears. He felt something tightening around his heart. But the younger remained on his place. 

"Mark, please-"

"I said go!!!" 

His voice thundered inside their bedroom and it seemed to make Jinyoung jump.

Mark didn't mean it. He didn't mean to shout at Jinyoung or to scare him like that. He's just really hurt.

All this time, all he ever did was love Jinyoung. His heart belongs to him and him alone. There was never a room for anyone else. 

He tried to understand the situation they were in. He tried to understand what Jinyoung could only give. 

He convinced himself that it's okay. Even if he doesn't have Jinyoung completely, as long as he has him at least. That's okay. It's enough for him.

But now, hearing Jinyoung say that he can't leave Jaebum? How is he supposed to feel? Should he still understand that?

Can he?

He heard how the younger sobbed but Mark chose to stand his ground. Fuck, he loves him so much. But, can he not ask for more? Or at least for what he deserves? 

Mark did ask him to leave. 

But when he saw Jinyoung slowly standing up, on his feet, Mark felt something in him.

It's as if his stomach is turning and he starts to wish that time would stand still. 

One. 

Two.

Now, the younger is three steps away from him. Mark felt like begging _please don't go. _But he can only bite his lips, in the hope of preventing himself from stopping the other from leaving.

When their eyes met, how Mark wanted to take back everything that he has said. 

Maybe, he can still wait. Maybe he can still bear with their situation. Maybe he could... because he loves Jinyoung. Maybe continuing this set up would be much easier than watching his love walk away like this.

When the door closed, Mark felt his entire world collapsing. 

_Jinyoung..._

He really left. He's now gone.

Yes, he did ask for it. But, in the deepest corner of his broken heart, he still hoped that Jinyoung would stay. 

That Jinyoung will choose to stay with him, rather than go back to his husband.

Mark never believed that one's heart can break literally. But since he met Jinyoung, all those things he used to think were impossible, somehow proved him otherwise.

He had his heart broken once.

Now why did he let his heart be broken again. For the same reason.

For the same person.

He went back home. To their small but cozy apartment, him and his husband has afforded to buy.

He works as a marketing manager in MKCorp. And Jackson partly owns a training gym with his bestfriend. They don't have much, but their jobs allow them to have just enough.

As he opened the door, Mark saw his husband seated on the couch. He also didn't fail to see the luggage that he has.

Mark closed the door before walking to the living room.

"You're leaving?" It sounded too casual. Mark is too tired to care.

Jackson shrugged. "Depends." And he saw how his eyes mirrored pain. "You tell me if I could still stay."

Mark's brows furrowed, but Jackson just asked. "Did he sign the papers?"

This go Mark more than surprised. How did he know about the divorce papers?

Jackson knows. He knows Mark's cheating on him. And how the older cursed at himself for being so cruel.

Despite knowing, his husband still chose to stay. 

"You should leave." Mark said, averting his eyes from the younger. "He left me. So you should too."

He tried to look at Jackson's eyes. "I've not been a good husband to you. So you should just go and leave me."

There, he said it. He finally said it.

After three years of hiding his relationship with Jinyoung, now he can say everything to Jackson.

Mark was about to head back to their bedroom when Jackson held his hand.

"But, good or not good, I still love you." Mark cursed at himself. How could Jackson still say this to him? "Sucks to be me, right?"

The younger's voice broke as he faked a smile at him. And Mark starts to hate himself even more. He didn't think it was possible...to hate himself more?

Jackson still has his hand on his arm. Mark turned to face him. "Jackson, didn't you hear me?! I was with Jinyoung! I've been cheating on you, for fuck's sake! You don't deserve an asshole like me, so please just go!"

He felt his chest rising up and down as he breathed after saying those words.

He turned to leave once again, only to feel Jackson's arms around his waist. He's hugging him from behind. 

"You're not the one to tell me who I deserve or not. I love you Mark, and I'm not leaving you."

His shoulders, wet with Jackson's tears started to shake as he cried too.

"I'll keep on loving you until you forget him. I'm never letting go."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[December 24, 2022]**

Mark hates hangovers.

But the stubborn him, can't stop drinking even when he's sure that he's gonna be dead drunk and will end up having the worst hangover the morning after.

Just like last night. 

He went home, drunk. Well, it's not new. Ever since Jinyoung left, Mark going out for a drink by himself has been his usual habit. 

He drinks out alone. He does that at least once a week. To relieve his stress from work, and to forget things.

Last night, Jackson reminded him of not driving after drinking. But does he ever listen?

He manages to get home safely anyway.

Jackson didn't get mad. He never gets mad. His husband always tend to keep his cool around him. No matter what he does, Jackson understands him. Even if Mark goes home drunk, Jackson doesn't scold him and start a fight.

He understands him a lot. Not once did he hear anything from Jackson. He has been nothing but a good husband.

He's been like that since they were friends. They were best friends.

They met during high school when he transferred in Korea. Since they're both foreigners, they got along pretty fast.

Jackson was the best kind of friend. He's been there with him through thick and thin. Never did he leave him.

Even after that time when Jackson confessed that he loves Mark. The older doesn't know how to respond. He doesn't want to hurt him, his bestfriend.

But his heart already belongs to someone else. 

It has always been Jinyoung. 

And up until now, he regrets to say that it's still him.

Mark sat up from his bed, with his head pounding. He looked at the clock. It's past 6 in the morning. 

It's a good thing he has set an alarm. Waking up in the morning after drinking last night was a struggle.

But he needs to get up. He still has work. And as the VP for marketing, he has to get his act right.

After four years of working his ass off, it finally paid off. He was promoted to being the VP for marketing. 

He has come a long way. He really had.

He walked outside their bedroom and towards the kitchen where he saw Jackson, who just finished preparing their breakfast.

_Shit. _Mark hissed as he remembered that it's his task every morning to cook breakfast for the two of them.

But once again he failed.

"U-uh... I'm sorry." He started off once he was in front of the table.

Jackson glanced up at him after setting aside the pan. "Good morning, too." The chinese smiled.

Mark scratched the back of his head. "Uhm, good morning."

His husband's smile became even wider. "Come on, and have a seat." 

Jackson took off his apron and also sat down across the dining table. Mark also sat in front of him. "Let's eat first. Then I'll give you something."

Mark racked his brains out to check if he forgot something.

Is it their anniversary? He's pretty sure it isnt.

His thoughts stopped when Jackson started to serve his plate with food. He's too caring.

As usual, Jackson asked him about his work. And as usual, his responses were short. Jackson knew him as a man of few words anyway. He's not really a fan of talking.

They just ate breakfast together. It was when they were done, when Jackson handed him a brown envelope.

Thougg he's confused, Mark reached for the envelope.

Inside were the divorce papers.

"I'm sorry it took me this long, but I am now ready to let you go."

Mark cannot smile. Not when he sees how Jackson's eyes mirrored pain.

"It's still him. Still Jinyoung. I know. I just tried my luck when he left. And tried again after he left you for the second time. But, now I know. And I accept that I can never have you like Jinyoung had. And you can never love me like him."

Mark's mouth fell open as he struggled to grasp some words to say.

His eyes moved from Jackson's, to the envelope. And vice versa.

He just can't understand and quite believe what is happening. 

"Jackson, I-"

"Don't you dare say you cannot accept this." Jackson interrupted him from speaking. "I know Mark."

The younger heaved a long sigh before continuing. He's looking at Mark's brown eyes.

"When Jinyoung left you, I stood by you as your best friend. I didn't ask you to choose me. But you did. I didn't force you to love me, but somehow, in your own way, I know and felt that you did."

Jackson reached for his hand. "You were my bestfriend. You are my best friend, Mark. And as your best friend, I only want you to be truly happy. And as much as I wanted to, I know that I can't do that for you. I can't give you that kind of happiness." He squeezed his hand and he saw Jackson's eyes glistening with tears. "I know you're not happy Mark. And I can't bear to see you like this, anymore."

Mark felt something heavy on his heart now that Jackson is saying all these. "Jackson,... I don't-"

"I don't think I should keep you here, with me. You're not happy. Maybe, at one point I did make you happy, I hope I did. But this is not the kind of happiness that you deserve."

Mark wasn't able to say something. He is just there, staring at Jackson who is trying his damnest to smile.

"You are a good man, Mark. And you deserve to be happy. Truly happy, with the man that you love." Jackson's eyes were brimming with tears. "And we all know that's not me."

"Jackson I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be." It was a fast response. "I know you tried, Mark. For the past four years, I've seen you try. But..." Jackson looked down at his hands for a bit before locking eyes with him again. "You don't have to try anymore. I'm now setting you free."

Mark couldn't explain how he is feeling right now. It's a mixed emotion.

But the next few words slipped out of his mouth.

"Thank you."

This time, Jackson's smile is genuine. The hurt is gone.

"It's okay. I'm okay with one last breakfast with you."

Before going to work, he called Jinyoung's office. But the secretary, Choi Youngjae, if he's not mistaken, said he's on a meeting so he left a voicemail.

"Jinyoung... This is all so sudden but, for the past years, I didn't stop thinking about you. I still love you. And if you love me too, meet me at the place tonight. Let's runaway."

How his heart pounded while saying those words.

But it's all he could think of. If Jinyoung agrees to his proposal, he'll leave everything behind him in one snap.

He hopes Jinyoung says yes. _Please, please, please. Please make him say 'yes'._

While at work, he keeps on checking his phone but Jinyoung isn't calling back. _Does he not love me anymore?_

Ten hours of work was very slow and agonizing for Mark.

He's still waiting for Jinyoung but he still ain't calling back.

When he reached home, he was very restless. What if this is Jinyoung's answer? Maybe he doesn't want to runaway with him.

Maybe he didn't miss him.

Maybe he doesn't feel the same way as him anymore.

If all his _maybe's _are correct, how cn he possibly handle it?

It was around 7 p.m. when Mark heard his phone ring.

He sat up.

It's Jinyoung.

"Mark... I still love you too. I'm sorry for leaving you like that. I'm-"

He shushed his cry. Hearing him crying breaks his heart.

"I love you, Jinyoung. I love you so much. Let's give this chance to ourselves, to become truly happy with each other. Let's make things right. I'll drive to our place right now. I'll see you in an hour."

Jinyoung said an _okay_ full of promises. Mark can't hide his smile.

He grabbed his keys and his bag, stuffed some clothes and left a note for Jackson.

_Jackson, I don't know if this will make up for everything I did and everything which I have failed to do but, thank you. I'm sorry for hurting you, but thank you for loving me. I'm now off to be with Jinyoung. You made this possible - me having another chance with love again. Thank you, Jackson. And I promise, I won't let your sacrifice go to waste._

Getting inside of his car, he inserted the key and started the engine.

After 4 years, 7 months, and 22 days of waiting, he'll now have his happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait but thank you anyways :)))


	4. "Four"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and another one..
> 
> this contains flashbacks so please do mind the dates :)

**[August 2012]**

"He's not that important."

Jinyoung said nonchalantly as sipped on his milk tea.

The younger two just stared at him and then exchanged looks. 

They're in a coffee shop near the university. Jinyoung is with his friends who are both younger than him - Yugyeom and Bambam. 

Jinyoung's in his first year in college, while these two are still in high school. But they're all attending the same school.

Yugyeom who finished his bite of the custard cake Bambam has ordered was the first one to react.

"Why do you hate the guy again, hyung?"

With this Jinyoung rolled his eyes. He bookmarked the page he's currently on before closing his book in finance. 

"I do not." he calmly said. "I just don't like him."

"Isn't that the same though?" Bambam said which Jinyoung just ignored.

"I'm just saying he's not relevant. And I don't waste my time on irrelevant things."

Bambam nudged Yugyeom who is taking a bite of the cake again. "We should be happy, Jinyoung hyung thinks we're relevant."

His Thai dongsaeng is usually like this. So again, Jinyoung ignored the younger.

"But relevant or irrelevant, you have no choice but to work with him. Or else you'll fail."

Jinyoung eyed Yugyeom. "Who said I'll fail? I could always work on the proposal alone. I don't need his help."

With a scoff, Jinyoung sat back on his chair and proceeded to reading again.

He's had enough stress from class today. His professor required them to make a business proposal as the final project. They were required to work in pairs and lucky him, got his ass paired with the famous Mark Tuan.

He's famous alright, but for Jinyoung, he's not relevant. He had heard that this is Mark's third shift in course. He should've been in second year now, but because of his indecisiveness of which path to take on, he's now on the same level as Jinyoung.

The guy is famous. One, he attracts too many attention (maybe because of his red hair). Two, he's the most valuable player in their school's basketball varsity team. Three, almost everyone likes him. 

He's more like a celebrity.

Jinyoung doesn't hate him for that. He's not jealous of course. What would he even do with that amount of attention the red haired guy is getting? 

It's just that... whenever they're in the same class, he feels like rolling his eyes at the older. Regardless of what Mark is doing, Jinyoung feels his irritation surfacing.

So how the hell will he be able to work with him? And besides, he likes to work alone. He doesn't think Mark could be a help for him anyway.

So what Jinyoung did the next day, isn't really surprising.

At the end of the class, Jinyoung approached their professor and told him that he'd like to work alone on the project. 

"But we need to inform Mr. Tuan." with that, the professor called the red haired and told him about what Jinyoung wanted.

Jinyoung was unminding. He is just waiting for the professor to say _okay _but then he heard Mark spoke.

"But I want to work with him, sir."

Jinyoung's brows knitted as he face the older. "W-what? But-"

"Sir, this is supposed to be done with a partner, right?" Jinyoung felt an arm wrapping around his shoulders. "So me and Jinyoung will stick together."

What in the world is this guy saying? Stick together? What the hell?

But of course it was settled. Their professor was kind enough to let Mark have things his way.

When Mr. Jeong left, Jinyoung also turned to leave. But soon enough, Mark was running behind him.

"What was that about?"

_He's the one asking? _Jinyoung thought as he stared back at him. He's older, but Jinyoung is taller by a fraction.

"What?" He asked back.

"You asked to work alone because you didn't want me as your partner?"

Mark's brows were shot up. But Jinyoung isn't intimidated or anything. Like he had said, Mark is not relevant to him.

With a shrug, Jinyoung replied. "Didn't say that." Mark was about to say something but he continued. "I did ask to be able to work alone. But I didn't say it's because I don't like working with you."

"Well you don't need to say that, since it's written all over your face." Mark pointed out using his fingers. "You don't like me, do you?"

Before he could answer, Jinyoung heard a honk and he saw his driver waving at him.

Turning to the other, he gave him a bored look. "Does it even matter?"

\---

For two straight weeks, Jinyoung and Mark worked together on their business proposal. 

They meet in between their breaks at the library, or at the field. 

Jinyoung appreciates Mark's efforts. He is doing his research well, which surprised Jinyoung. He wasn't expecting Mark to be mindful of his grades or studies. But now he's seeing this side of him.

There were also times that Mark skips basketball practice just to meet with Jinyoung and have their work done. It's enough for Jinyoung to decide on changing his first impression of the older.

"You're starting to like him, hyung?" 

Jinyoung almost coughed at Yugyeom's question. "What are you saying?!"

He could see Bambam smirking. Yugyeom answered. "I meant, you don't dislike him anymore."

Jinyoung shook his head as Bambam's smirk turned to a malicious grin. The younger was about to speak when Jinyoung raised his hand to silence the other. "Not one word, Bambam."

One afternoon, while they were at the coffee shop near the university, Mark asked him.

"Do you always have your driver follow you around?" He's pointing at his personal driver.

Jinyoung sighed before writing on his pad again. "Unfortunately, yes."

Maybe it's the downside of being the son of the CEO of Park Housing and Realty Corporation - one of the most successful conglomerate business in Korea.

Since he was a kid, he's been this guarded, like he's some kind of a precious stone, not meant to be seen or touched by anyone who is just anyone. 

His dad is a powerful man. And he exercises his power even over him, his own son. What his dad wants, Jinyoung must do it. It doesn't matter if he wants it or not. He just have to.

He maybe a precious stone, but another crack, he thinks he'll break.

"Want to do something exciting?" Mark's eyes were hinting something.

Somehow, Jinyoung felt nervous. "What are you planning?"

He saw Mark fixing their things and putting it inside his backpack. "I'm about to save you."

Jinyoung frowned. "Save me from what?"

"From this life you're obviously sick of living." Those words hit something. And Jinyoung felt something tugging in his heart as he saw Mark lending his hand out.

"It's only for this day, but... let's runaway together?"

It took him a whole minute to decide. Looking across the street, he heaved a sigh before reaching Mark's hand. "Okay."

They took off into a run after they went outside the shop. His personal driver might've not seen them, so they're safe. For now. But Jinyoung doesn't want to think of anything just yet. He'll enjoy things now.

When they reached the park, they stopped to catch their breaths. 

"Now, isn't that exciting?" Mark is smiling, and the orange color of the skies are reflecting on his eyes.

Jinyoung stuck his tongue out. He's exhausted. "Running away is not my thing."

The red haired stared at him for a few seconds. "But sometimes, it's what will set you free."

And that only made him agree, realizing that Mark is actually right. 

At the end of the month, their time to present their work also came.

"Congratulations Mr. Park and Mr. Tuan for a job well done."

It was beyond rewarding to hear those words. They finally made it. 

But as they were seated across each other, in the coffee shop where they used to work on their proposal, Jinyoung seemed to have left his mind somewhere.

All that he's thinking now is, since they aren't supposed to work on anything together, does that mean no more afternoon in the cafe?

It was getting dark, so Jinyoung decided to say goodbye to Mark. His driver is also outside waiting for him.

But before Jinyoung could do so, Mark already had his hand on top of his. 

"I have another proposal for you, Mr. Park."

Jinyoung raised his brows, anticipating something from the older.

"Date me. And I'll make you happy. Love me, and I'll never let you go."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[December 24, 2022]**

"I'll see you in an hour."

When Mark ended the call, Jinyoung wiped his tears.

He's still inside his office. Thank God Mark answered his call.

He never imagined he could hear Mark's voice again. After a long time, Jinyoung made himself believe that Mark is better off without him. That Mark is happy, with Jackson.

But hearing those words from Mark, saying thay he didn't stop thinking about him, and that he still loves him...it mended his broken heart in an instant.

He missed Mark. So much.

And now, their time has finally come. He's never gonna let go this time.

Without missing a beat, he fixed his things and got his keys. He left a note for Youngjae. He's gonna read it tomorrow.

When he got in his car, he texted Bambam and Yugyeom. He told them that he's running away with Mark. And his friends aren't any happier. They were there when he met Mark. They knew what he went through when he was forced to leave Mark. And for these past four years, they knew how miserable he was.

Now, they're supporting him. They want him to be truly happy.

It was a thirty minute drive from Seoul to Hanam. Jinyoung arrived at their place.

It was just a small two story house with a veranda and small garden. He still has his own key of the house so he opened it.

Upon entering, he saw how clean and maintained the place is.

The covers of the couch were changed. The floors were polished. He saw his books neatly arranged in the shelf in their living room. Mark still keeps them.

He saw Mark's game console. Jinyoung thought, maybe Mark is still into gaming and he plays whenever he goes here.

But how often does he go here? 

When he went to the kitchen, he opened the fridge and judging from the food stock, it seems Mark does frequent visits on their place. For four long years, Mark still goes here.

He walked upstairs towards their bedroom. It is still as cozy as before. He put his bag on top of their bed. He missed sleeping here, beside Mark.

Walking again, outside the room and down the stairs, he sat on the couch. It's past 8 p.m. Since Mark would be coming from Incheon, it'll take him about an hour to get here. So he just made himself comfortable for the next thirty minutes.

It's almost 9 o'clock and Mark is still not here. Something is not settling inside Jinyoung so he messaged Mark. He's probably driving so he won't be able to answer his messge yet.

When the clock striked ten, Jinyoung became worried. Where is Mark? Did he change his mind? Is he still coming?

He decided to call him. He's about to dial his number when he saw an incoming call from Mark.

Relief washed over him as he answered his call.

"Jinyoung."

But he froze upon hearing another voice. It's not from Mark.

It's from Jackson.

"Jinyoung?"

He snapped himself out of it and answered. "Y-yes?" Why is Jackson holding Mark's phone? Did he know about their plan of running away?

"Thank God I reached you." He was confused as to why Jackson has been trying to call him. But he felt something else when he heard Jackson's sob. 

"I wasn't sure if I should call you or not, but... b-but..."

Jinyoung started to feel his heartbeat quicken its pace as he waited for what Jackson is about to say.

"I don't know what happened. They just called me here and-" 

Jinyoung wasn't able to understand the next words. He could here Jackson's crying. And it made Jinyoung worried and scared. "Where's... W-where is Mark?"

"He's here in Severance Hospital." Jackson's voice broke. "Please come, Jinyoung."

\--------

Jinyoung drove as fast as he can.

While on his way to meet the younger, Mark had an accident and was rushed to the hospital.

Jinyoung kept on praying and praying for Mark to be fine. This can't happen. They're just about to meet and be together. _It's_ _so_ _unfair_.

When he reached the hospital, he immediately searched for the operating room where Mark is in. His mind is a mess. His heart is clenching at each step he takes. 

His hands were tightly balled into a fist. _Please, please save him._

But fate isn't on his side. As he saw Jackson's face full of tears, slumped on the floor, his heart seemed to stop beating.

"Jinyoung... Mark is... Mark's..."

Jinyoung's eyes did the same. His tears which he was holding back the whole time, started streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry, Jinyoung."

And right then, he felt his heart break into a million pieces as it ceased on beating.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[January 26, 2023]**

Jinyoung affixed his signature at the bottom of the paper.

"So that would be all, then. Mr. Park..." Attorney Jung turned to him. "Mr. Im..." and to Jaebum who is seated across him.

"It was nice working with you. These will be filed and submitted. If there's anything that'll come up during the process, we'll let you both know."

Jinyoung nodded and extended his hand to the attorney. "Thank you Atty. Jung." and to Jaebum's lawyer. "Atty. Cheong, thank you for your hardwork."

After how many years, Jinyoung finally did it. He's now doing the thing which he should've done a long time ago. 

If he did sign those papers, would he and Mark get a happier ending?

Jinyoung bowed at the two lawyers and made his way outside the office.

He was near the stairs when Jaebum got a hold of his arm, turning him around to face the older. And when he did, he saw how sorrowful Jaebum's eyes were.

_"Listen here, I know you're just forced in this marriage. Look, I am too." his fiance, Im Jaebum is now talking to him after he walked out of the dining room. _

_Yes, he has a fiance. And he only learned about it, now. _

_Jinyoung averted his eyes and looked somewhere else. _

_"You may not like me, or even hate me for dragging you in this situation. But if you're not brave enough to say no to this arrangement, why would you blame me? Maybe you don't like me, but can you at least act decently around me? Don't hate me for something I did not do. This is not what I planned but I'm willing to try. Can you not do that too?"_

His mind travelled back to their first meeting. When his dad introduced Jaebum as his fiance. 

It's true that he hated him, or at least he intended on hating him. But what Jaebum told him was also true.

They were both forced into marrying each other. And they were both weak to say no to the arrangement. 

But somewhere along the way, they found comfort in each other. When Jinyoung got his heart broken, Jaebum was there for him. He took him in. He took care of him.

He understood him in a way he never thought he deserved to be understood.

At some point, Jaebum found love in that sense of comfort. He knows that. Jinyoung felt it. Jaebum loved him.

And that love was enough to make him feel guilty. 

He knows he can't give that kind of love to Jaebum. He can't bear to take all his love without being able to give him just as much.

Four years ago, he was afraid to leave Jaebum. For, he doesn't want to hurt him. He doesn't deserve to get hurt, Jinyoung believes.

But does he deserve to be taken for granted? Sure, he can stay. He did, for eight years, he did. But was he able to love him right? When all along, all he's thinking about was Mark. When all along, it was still Mark who owns his heart?

Does Jaebum deserve that?

"Jinyoung.. " He heard his voice laced with pain. "...Do you really have to do this?"

Jinyoung bit his lips as he reached for the other's hand. He held in gently.

"This is what I should've done. In the first place, I shouldn't have said yes to that agreement. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you."

"You didn't." Jaebum is now holding both his hands, nearer to his chest. "Jinyoung, I love you very much. It doesn't matter if you love me back or not. I can do all the work. I can love, for the both of us."

His words struck Jinyoung's heart. Why is he like this? How could he say all these?

"Just please don't... Please don't leave me..."

Jaebum's tears streamed down his face. Jinyoung freed his hand to be able to wipe those. 

"You deserve someone who will be able to love you as much as you love him. You deserve that Jaebum." He looked into his eyes. "And I'm sorry if I can't be that someone."

Jaebum cried in front of him, and it breaks his heart also. 

For eight years, he's been with Jaebum. If only he could love him, things would be so much easier. 

But he can't. Eight years is long enough. He can't pretend anymore.

Slowly, Jinyoung slipped his hands off the older's hold.

"I'm sorry, Jaebum, I sincerely hope for your happiness."

As he stepped outside the office, he breathed in the fresh air. This is where he'll start. 


	5. "Last"

**[December 24, 2014]**

Jinyoung stopped on his tracks when he saw Mark sitting by the foot of the Namsan tower.

His boyfriend is wearing a thick navy blue coat, and has a white scarf wrapped around his neck. He could see the fog Mark creates as he breathes. He also saw how the older shifted on his feet, struggling to keep himself warm.

Mark can't stand cold for a long while. He easily shivers, just like now.

It's not just any other day. It's their second anniversary, and they agreed to meet two hours ago. And Jinyoung is scolding himself for being the worst boyfriend to this angel.

He texted Mark and told him to wait inside the tower. But the red haired is really stubborn sometimes.

As if Mark realized he has already arrived, his boyfriend turned to his direction only to see him standing there.

He saw how the older's face lit up upon seeing him. "Nyoung!"

Only then did Jinyoung willed himself to move and walk towards Mark, meeting him halfway.

"You're here!" He's still smiling, only making Jinyoung feel a bit guilty. Now that he's close, he could see how pale Mark's lips have become.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"Ssshh." Mark silenced him. "I understand. And it's not important. I'm just happy that you're here. And you came just as you promised."

"Two hours late." Jinyoung pouted.

"Doesn't matter." He dismissed him quickly and grabbed on his arm. "I'm just really happy that you're here."

Jinyoung could only sigh as Mark tugged him towards the entrance. 

Mark never did let go of his hand as they both made their way up the tower.

They ate at a restaurant before going to the observation deck. It must be because it's Christmas eve, that's why there were many people, primarily couples and parents with their kids who are also visiting the place.

It's Mark's wish to celebrate their anniversary here in the tower. It's because although he's been in Korea for five years already, he still hasn't come to Namsan Tower. This would be his first time.

And of course, they went to the rooftop terrace. Mark purposely dragged him here because of one thing - to hang their own love lock.

Mark was holding his hand tightly, as he shuts his eyes. But Jinyoung, instead of closing his eyes, he remained staring at the older's face. How beautiful is this man? And how lucky is he to have him?

After a while, Mark opened his eyes. And Jinyoung saw his boyfriend frown upon seeing that he didn't close his eyes.

"Didn't you ask for anything?" Mark asked.

"What more would I ask for, when I already have you here?"

Mark's kiss caught him by surprise. "I love you so much, Jinyoung." The older then turned to look at the love lock they just hanged. "And how I pray that things will always stay this way. That we'll always be this happy. That we'll always be together... forever."

Jinyoung wasn't able to say anything. Mark's words seem to have done a good job silencing him.

The younger just smiled, as Mark pulled him closer and kissed his hair.

It was a while after when Jinyoung finally had the courage to start talking. 

_"You know what you have to do, Jinyoung. You don't need me to tell you." _

Jinyoung balled his hands to a fist as his father's words ring on his head.

He looked at Mark who is happily looking over the beautiful city of Seoul. All those city lights, reflecting on Mark's face. It's enough to tug the corners of his heart.

Clearing his throat, Jinyoung finally spoke.

"I only have two years before I claim my position in our company." He said all so suddenly that made Mark look at him. "After I graduate, I have to assume my position as the CEO of our company."

Mark has a confused look on his face. "Ookay...?"

Jinyoung inhaled deeply. "But right now, our company is not in a good state."

He explained. Jinyoung explained to Mark what his dad has explained to him. And about the problem they are now facing.

"But he found a possible merger. He talked to Im Realty Group. It's a well established real estate company here on Korea and even in Japan and China. They could help us." Jinyoung nodded his head. "And they said they would."

Mark hummed in response. Still oblivious to what Jinyoung was dreading to say.

"Two nights ago, we had a dinner with the Ims. They were really nice, and very much willing to help us."

"Really? Then it's good news then."

Jinyoung pursed his lips before continuing. "Their son, Jaebum... He's almost the same age as me, only months older. He is also taking up business management in Korea University. He's now on his last year."

Mark remained silent, not sure of how the conversation was going.

"He's very nice, and well mannered. He could be sarcastic sometimes. But all in all, he's a fine man." 

"Okay, but-"

"Father assured me that he's gonna make a good husband."

And Jinyoung saw how shock registered on Mark's face. It took the red haired some more seconds before he blinked.

"He wants me to marry him."

Mark's mouth fell open but was able to recover soon. "M-marry him?" his boyfriend asked in disbelief. "You're going to marry him?"

But Jinyoung, he's not sure where he's getting his strength to say all these. "I need to. Because if I don't, our company... the company my father has built, will be forced to bankruptcy. And I don't want that."

Another minute before Mark spoke. Shaking his head, he said "But... But Jinyoung this is-"

"I have no choice, Mark." 

Jinyoung held back the tears that are threatening to escape his eyes.

In the end, he said those words.

"I need to break up with you. I'll need to marry him. Sorry, Mark."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[February 1, 2023]**

"Thank you for accepting my invitation, Jinyoung."

Jinyoung sat down across the table as he smiled at Jackson who's in front of him.

Jinyoung finds it awkward. Him, here, talking to Jackson.

If they were still back in college, this set up would've been fine. But now, after everything that has happened, he doesn't know anymore how to face Jackson - a man whom he had hurt so much.

Because of him, he lost the man he loves so much. Jinyoung has himself to blame.

"I'm sorry, Jackson."

He started off. Jinyoung knows he's done so many awful things to Jackson just because he loves Mark. So maybe an apology will somehow set things right.

But the blonde guy just smiled at him earnestly and handed him the menu. "Go ahead and order for yourself. I already ordered a while ago."

Jinyoung still didn't reach for the menu and looked at Jackson with apologetic eyes. 

That's when the chinese laughed. "Come on, I can't with this drama. I already cried enough tears. Let's just eat, shall we?"

They were eating, with Jinyoung dying every silent minute that pased. 

"Mark was my bestfriend." Jackson said all so suddenly. "You know that, right? Even before all the shits that happened, Mark was my bestfriend."

Jinyoung stayed silent.

"But I think I might've taken things too seriously and let my heart do what it wants. I let my heart feel for Mark. Though it was very clear that he's in love with you." Jackson smirked as he continued. "But it was that evening. Christmas eve when he called me dead drunk, rumbling on how you left him to go and marry someone else."

That made Jinyoung wince. He recalled the memory of how he left Mark despite of seeing his tears. How he left Mark after hurting him.

"And maybe that was a wrong timing but... That's when I said I love him. For three years I did, even before he met you, I did. And I still do."

Jackson sighed and clasped his hands together. After another sigh, he continued talking.

He told Jinyoung everything. How he loves Mark. How he took care of his wounded heart after Jinyoung left him to marry someone his father wants him to marry.

He stayed with Mark when Jinyoung left for the States where he married Jaebum. It was a slow process. But one night things ended unexpectedly, and he woke awake, naked beside Mark. He didn't regret anything, and he expected Mark to distance himself but surprisingly, Mark became more caring towards him.

But after two months, Jinyoung came back. He wasn't expecting that time, he was afraid Mark will leave him so he proposed and to his surprise, the older said _yes_.

He knows he only said yes out of a broken heart. But he loves Mark. Any kind of yes is okay to him.

But after a couple of months, Mark became distant. That's when he learned about his relationship with Jinyoung.

"Mark deserves to be loved. You know that above anyone else, Jinyoung."

That seemed to knock some senses into Jinyoung. He hugged Jackson. "Thank you, Jackson. And I do, I do know that."

Just then, he received a call from Bambam. Excusing himself, he answered.

"Hyung, he's awake."

\----------

"Who are you?"

Jinyoung froze upon hearing Mark's question.

He just stared at the older, until Yugyeom tapped his shoulders.

After receiving Bambam's call, Jinyoung said goodbye to Jackson and drove to Severance. After more than a month of waiting, hoping and praying, Mark is finally awake.

His heart swelled from happiness and excitement. But then, he'll hear this?

_Traumatic Amnesia. _

It's what the doctors said. It's because the impact of Mark's head against the glass was really severe that it caused him to lose his memory. 

Jinyoung sighed as he looked back at Mark's room. He just had a talk with his doctors. _"If I'll be honest, the chances for him to regain his memory back, is one out of ten. Guess all we can do now is hope and pray for the best."_

\-------

"BAMBAM!!" he heard Yugyeom's voice. "That apple is for Mark hyung, you brat!"

When he got inside, he saw Bambam choking Yugyeom. "Who you calling brat?"

And there goes Mark's laughter. 

Seeing Mark laughing like that somehow makes Jinyoung feel a bit better. It helps him accept the situation.

Mark has forgotten about him. About who he was. About how he loves him, and how Mark loves him. 

It's painful. Knowing that there's a possibility that Mark won't remember him anymore, had his heart breaking.

But seeing him alive and happy is always better. 

Mark has forgotten him. It had hurt Jinyoung. But maybe this is the consequences that he has to face for breaking Mark's heart too many times.

"Jinyoung, hyung!" Yugyeom's cry for help snapped him back to reality. "Help, please help!"

But Jinyoung just shook his head. "You got yourself in that mess. I'm not involving myself!" He even raised his both hands. 

And maybe Bambam still has mercy, cause he did let go of Yugyeom. Well, they're best friends after all.

"What did the doctors say?" 

Jinyoung turned to Mark who is struggling on peeling an apple.

"Well they say that you're recovering in a commendable speed. You might just be discharged earlier than expected."

And that made Mark smile. It has been more than two months since Mark woke up. And he knows how the older is excited to get out of the hospital.

"Oh, hell-" Mark hissed as he almost dropped the apple. 

Jinyoung fought his smile back as he got the apple from Mark's hands. "Here, let me." He gave him a teasing look. "When will you ever improve?"

Mark pouted but still waited for him to finish peeling his apple. 

"Here." he handed to the older.

Mark smiled his usually warm smile and it made Jinyoung heart jump. "Thanks, Nyoung."

_Nyoung.. _How he missed hearing it from him.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[May 2, 2023]**

It was another month later, when Mark was finally discharged from the hospital.

As he drove with Mark, Jinyoung adored looking at the love of his life.

They arrived at their secret place. It's where they'll stay.

Their two story house which Mark bought for them. Which they renovated and designed just how they dreamed it would be, to be cozy enough for the two of them and if lucky...with their future kids.

Now they stand in front of their haven. Their safe place. 

Holding Mark's hand, he turned and said to the other. "I have a proposal for you."

Mark's brows knitted. "Proposal? Okay then. Let me hear it."

Jinyoung stared at those brown eyes. The sunset reflecting on his face, making Mark even more beautiful.

"Date me, and I'll make you happy. Love me, and I'll never let you go."

His heart fluttered as a smile crossed on Mark's face.

"It doesn't sound bad."

Jinyoung smiled, tears brimming on the side of his eyes. "So, what do you say? Will you let me do just that?"

Mark cupped his face, and his soft lips met his quivering ones.

"I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those who thought I could kill Mark here. No I won't ever! :( How is the last chapter? This really is the last chapter but I still am posting FOUR special narrations. Each will come as our beloved characters' POVs. So please do anticipate. Hearing their side might add something to the whole story.


	6. Special Chapter #1: "JAEBUM"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first special narration and it's from.... IM JAEBUM. :) It has always been Jinyoung whom we heard of about their story and all. Wondering how it really was for Jaebum? Well, let's see.... ^^

** _December 2014_ **

"Yeah, dad. Yes. I'll be home before morning. I just need to finish this report."

Jaebum told his father over the phone. When he heard an _it's okay _from his father, Jaebum immediately kept his phone and turned to his friends.

"Turn the music back on!"

And the dj for the night did as all the other university students continued to party.

Jaebum is having the night of his life. Oh, okay let him change that. He is _trying _to have the night of his life. And he's partying hard to achieve just that.

He is now on his last year in college, studying a course which is basically shoved down his throat. As the son of the chairman of the Im Realty Group, he doesn't quite have any other choice rather than to take up business management.

He needs to take over their own company, after all. Anyone on their right mind would do that.

But maybe, yeah maybe he isn't thinking properly. His heart is in music. He loves making music. But wait til his father laughs at him for it.

"Jaebum, my man!" Sejun, his blockmate threw his arm around his shoulder, almost pouring beer at him in the process. 

"Are you drunk, already?" he mocked the other.

"You wish it'll happen." Sejun sneered. "It's you who needs to drink! Come on!"

Dragging him to the center of the crowd, Sejun handed him bottle after bottles of beer. Jaebum didn't even say no. Cause his friend is right. He needs it.

\--------

Jaebum woke up, with the worst hang over. God. How did he even manage to get home? He can't remember.

Maybe one of his friends drove him here.

He heard a knock on the door before his father came in. Jaebum didn't even bother to sit upright. His head is pounding.

"How was the report?"

Judging from his dad's voice, Jaebum knows _he _knows. But does he care? He thinks not.

"Will you continue living like this?" _Here he goes, _Jaebum thinks. "Like a rebellious teenager? What are you, twelve?"

Jaebum could only mentally roll his eyes. "I don't think twelve year olds can drink." He mumbled.

"Are you saying something?"

Looking heavenwards, Jaebum just sighed. "Nothing, dad." Wow. The day is barely starting yet, he's already tired just from talking to his dad.

"How could I entrust our company in your hands, huh Jaebum? Tell me."

This again. Jaebum already lost count of how many times he and his dad had this kind of talk. His father would initiate but it always end the same. It's either his dad will get pissed, or it's him who gets pissed.

With another sigh, Jaebum decided to voice his thoughts out loud. 

"Then maybe you should go and look for another person who is more credible. Someone who'd really want to take over the company." He exhaled as he looked at his father apologetically. "And I'm sorry but that's not me, dad."

"But you're my son."

He gives up. It's what his father always says. He's the only heir, he's the only one who can take over the company. 

Jaebum ruffled his hair frustratedly. He should've known better than to hope that their conversation would end differently.

"But if you don't want to take over the company, maybe it'll be easier for you to have someone do it with you. To share the load, perhaps."

Jaebum's brows furrowed as he looked at his father. 

"Our company is planning to merge with the Park Housing and Realty Corporation." His dad stated. Why does he feel like he's not going to like what he's about to hear? "And marriage would make it possible."

"M-marriage?" He stuttered. "But dad, you know that-"

"Ceo Park has a son."

Is this fucking real or... shit. Is this serious? 

"I don't really have a problem with that. You could marry his son, our company could merge as one. Everyone is happy."

Happy? Is his dad fucking with him?

"And you decided on this without even asking me?" 

His father just stared at him impassively. "Because I don't need to. I trust that you're sane enough to say yes to this agreement."

He hates his dad.

But he hates himself more for being a spineless man, not being able to say no.

\---------

He's sitting across the wide dining table. There were only four of them eating dinner, so the huge space is really useless and unreasonable in Jaebum's opinion.

But maybe that's how it is when someone's rich. Their dining table ain't any different, either.

The two CEOs are talking over some _important _matters. It's important of course because it's about his life. His and this other guy's, _Jinyoung's _life. 

When Chairman Park dropped the bomb, and yes, it's about the marriage, Jaebum saw how the younger's eyes have gone huge. He didn't like the idea. He understands. Even he himself hated the idea.

Maybe he should thank his dad for bringing the news to his knowledge before this dinner. Otherwise, both his and Jinyoung's eyes would've rolled on the table.

Jaebum focused on his meal. But no, who is he kidding? He can't focus on his meal because he keeps on staring at the poor guy in front of him. He's been dumbfounded for minutes now. Everyone has seemed to move on from the sudden news, but him.

He just stared at the younger. He knows he's younger. Jinyoung is still on his third year, taking up the same course as him, so maybe he's a year older. 

He looks like a well mannered young man. He has raven black hair, unlike him who dyed his hair red. He doesn't have any piercings, unlike him who wears earrings at school. In comparison to him, this Jinyoung guy seems more matured and even a good son. 

"Jaebum here looks like a fine young man." Chairman Park said looking at him. That got his attention. He just smiled at the older. "Don't you agree, Jinyoung?" 

Jaebum doesn't quite know why he suddenly felt anxious of how Jinyoung would answer. He already had a good impression towards the younger. Is he expecting that Jinyoung would think positively of him too? 

Would it matter to him, really?

But all they got was a cold shrug. Jinyoung didn't even spare him a glance.

"I think these two would make a good pair. And that would make things easier for us, Chairman Im." Chairman Park laughed with his dad. "Maybe in our next meeting, we can properly talk about the wedding-"

They all looked at Jinyoung as the younger carelessly put his fork down on the table. His eyes remained on the younger who has his head down.

"Don't I need to have a say on this, dad?" Jinyoung spoke through gritted teeth. "It's my life you're planning out here. Don't I have a say on this?"

Jaebum saw how the younger clenched his fist. 

"You'll just make me marry someone whom I don't even know? Someone I met just now." Jinyoung's eyes met his, and something cold washed through him. "Why would I marry him? Shouldn't marriage be based on love as a foundation? How can I marry someone whom I don't love?"

Why those words hit something inside him, Jaebum isn't sure.

"I don't think I would want to marry someone who cannot decide things on his own."

With that, Jinyoung stood and left them open mouthed. He didn't expect him to say that. 

But soon enough, he finds himself standing up and following the younger who just walked out of the dining room.

Upon grabbing his arm, Jaebum started to talk.

"Listen here, I know you're just forced in this marriage. Look, I am too." He saw how the younger averted his gaze from him. But he continued. "You may not like me, or even hate me for dragging you in this situation. But if you're not brave enough to say no to this arrangement, why would you blame me? Maybe you don't like me, but can you at least act decently around me? Don't hate me for something I did not do. This is not what I planned, but I am willing to try."

He heaved a deep sigh. Now Jinyoung is looking at him. He stared at those brown eyes. "Can you not do that too?"

And when Jaebum saw how Jinyoung's eyes turned soft, for a reason unknown to him, there's a flicker of hope in his heart.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

** _January 26, 2023_ **

"So that would be all then, Mr. Park." The lawyer turned to Jinyoung. Then to him, "Mr. Im..."

Jaebum is still holding the pen even after he signed the papers Atty. Jung and Atty. Cheong has given him. He stared at Jinyoung who is seated in front of him. 

He's wearing a white long sleeved shirt. He usually dresses like that. And how he adored looking at his beautiful husband. _Husband_. Does he still have the right to call him that?

"It was nice working with you. These will be filed and submitted. If there's anything that'll come up during the process, we'll let you both know." Atty. Jung added.

Earlier this morning, Jinyoung called him and asked him to meet up.

It's been a month since Jinyoung left home. Ever since the accident Mark has got into, Jinyoung didn't leave his side.

Jaebum remembers wishing he was the one who got into an accident. Will Jinyoung stay with him? He wonders.

He doesn't know why he's still shocked when Jinyoung gave him the divorce papers. Even before he left, a month ago, he should've expected things to end this way.

Them, parting ways. Jinyoung, leaving him.

He knew. He knew about Mark. Even before they got married, he knew there's a Mark before him. But it's funny, how that fact didn't stop him from falling for Jinyoung. He knew very well that Jinyoung loves Mark. But he still let himself fall for the younger.

It was all too easy. Jinyoung is never hard to love. He's kind, fun to be with, smart and caring. How could he not love him? But Jinyoung's heart was never his.

It was that one weekend, sometime in 2016 when he found out about his relationship with Mark. How he planned in his head how he'll break it off with Jinyoung. He's not _that _stupid. But when he saw Jinyoung, all he did was wrap him inside his arms.

He accepted it. As long as Jinyoung still goes back home to him, he's fine with it. He'll be fine with it.

That's how much he loved Jinyoung.

As Jinyoung bowed to thank their lawyers, Jaebum felt a sense of panic rising in his chest. _He can't, just yet. _

So he followed Jinyoung until they're both outside the office. 

"Jinyoung..." He said upon grabbing his arm turning the younger to face him. "Do you really have to do this?"

He felt Jinyoung's hand on his. He squeezed it gently. "This is what I should've done. In the first place, I shouldn't have said yes to that agreement. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you."

"You didn't." It came out too fast. But he meant it. Never in their eight years being together, has he felt that way. He held on his hand even tighter. Holding it against his chest. "Jinyoung, I love you very much. It doesn't matter if you love me back or not. I can do all the work. I can love, for the both of us."

He knows how pathetic he sounds right now. But he doesn't care! If this is what it will take to not lose his love, he'll even get down on his knees and beg.

"Just please... please don't leave me." Jaebum felt his hot tears streaming down his face. But he still held on Jinyoung's hand like he's holding on for his dear life. 

Jinyoung slipped his hand from his hold and brought it to his face, wiping his tears. He could only lean in to his touch.

"You deserve someone who will be able to love you as much as you love him. You deserve that, Jaebum."

His brown eyes, which he could spend his whole life staring at, holds a lot of promise. But it's not enough to ease his pain.

"And I'm sorry if I can't be that someone."

Jaebum felt his heart breaking through every word that came out of Jinyoung's mouth.

He felt weak that he can't even take hold of Jinyoung's hand as they slipped away from his. 

"I'm sorry, Jaebum. I sincerely hope for your happiness."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

** _February 14, 2023_ **

"Just a little gift." 

Jaebum took what a teenage girl was handing him. It was a white rose.

Figures. It's Valentine's day. 

He has just arrived at the airport in Incheon. In less than an hour, he'll be boarding the plane to Japan. 

That's where he'll stay for the next coming years. Maybe until he's back to his feet again.

His dad offered him the position- Chief Executive Officer of their Japan based company. And Jaebum saw it as a chance for him to get away. To move on from everything that has happened.

His dad is happy with his decision. Now, that he's taking interest in running their company.

_"Good afternoon, passengers. This is a pre-boarding announcement for Flight 94J, to Tokyo Japan. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately fifteen minutes time. Thank you."_

Jaebum sat back as he heard the announcement. Guess he has to wait another fifteen minutes.

He just plugged in his earphones and decided to kill time with music.

_ "I still can't believe it, that when I open my eyes, you aren't there..."_

The song goes.

_"If it ever gets hard, you can come back to me.. _

_ I am here, always here for you_

_ I will never leave....waiting for you"_

He was disturbed when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Plugging his earphone out, and opening his eyes, he sees a man, dressed in a black shirt and red sweatpants. He's also wearing a cap, but he still sees his blonde hair. 

"Is this yours?"

He is handing him a white rose. That's when Jaebum remembered the one given to him by that teenage girl. "Ah, yes. That would be mine."

The blonde man gave it to him and smiled.

Jaebum looked at the rose only to see that there's an attached note. _**"What's coming is much better than what has gone."**_

"Ever been to Japan?"

The same blonde man who is now seated in front of him asked. Judging from his accent, though he's speaking in Korean, he sounds like a foreigner.

Jaebum nodded. "Yeah. A couple of times before."

The man smiled. "Lucky you. I just hope I won't get lost in that country."

Jaebum watched as the blonde studied this map that he's holding. It's quite a large one and how he almost laughed as the other struggled to study it.

"Alright." Jaebum spoke, getting the man's attention. "How about this..." He sat up, still looking at the blonde who is now staring back at him. "I still have a week before I start working my ass off and maybe it's not bad as a time for you to adjust so... why not let me tour you around the city until you finally familiarize yourself with the place?"

He saw how a smile formed on the blonde's lips. "Will that be fine, though?"

Jaebum shrugged. "I'm the one who asked so, it's not really a burden for me."

"Okay then. But, I don't think touring around with a stranger is a good idea."

With this, Jaebum felt like smiling. This guy is something. Lending out his hand, Jaebum said "Fine. To ease your worries... I am Jaebum."

And soon enough, the blonde is smiling back, taking his hand and shaking it.

"I'm Jackson."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. How was it? Did you expect the last part? :) but tbh, i really ship JackBum. <3
> 
> Next one is going to be narrated by JACKSON ^^  
See you until then.


	7. Special Chapter #2: "JACKSON"

_"I'm gonna confess to him."_

_Did he hear him right? Maybe he's just drunk. It's past 10 in the evening and they're still drinking in the apartment he's staying at. They've already drank bottles, so yeah... Mark is just drunk._

_Jackson didn't say anything and honestly doesn't want to say anything about what his best friend just said. _

_Mark is usually like this. One day he likes someone. Some days after, he forgets that that someone even existed. It's always like that, so Jackson is used to it. He should, anyway, after being best friends with the guy for long years since he moved here in Korea._

_Jackson drank his beer, continuing on ignoring the red haired, but then an arm swing around him, resting on his shoulders. Mark's face is now beside his. His warm breath hitting the side of his face as he talked._

_"Do you remember the guy I was talking to you about?" his bestfriend started. "You know... Park Jinyoung?"_

_Jackson heaved a sigh. Park Jinyoung... Mark's blockmate in Finance. The raven haired guy with puffy cheeks, thick eyebrows and plump lips. How Mark talked about how good looking Jinyoung is, oh Jackson surely can't forget._

_Clearing his throat, Jackson answered. "I actually don't."_

_With that, Mark spent the next thirty minutes talking nonstop about his little crush. Jackson slightly regrets his answer. He should've said he knows Park Jinyoung. Mark should've shut his mouth._

_"We'll be presenting our proposal this Friday and that means we won't need to see each other again."_

_Jackson's eyebrow quirked. "And that's a problem, because...?"_

_"Because I want to see him again." Mark said as if he is explaining something Jackson should've known by now. He just watched as his bestfriend sighed dreamily. "I want to spend not only my afternoons with him. I want to stay until late night at coffee shops with him, talking about how our day went. I want to hold his hand freely, without thinking if I should ask him first. I want to be with him. That's it, Jackson. I just want to be with Jinyoung."_

_Mark didn't say anything wrong. He just expressed his feelings. But Jackson doesn't know how to react to that._

_Unconsciously, his mouth started to speak. "You cannot always have what you want, Mark." He knows. Jackson, above anyone else, knows that._

_But his bestfriend is persistent. Mark is not one to give up. Jackson saw it in his eyes as Mark finished his drink in one shot, and smiled a smile full of determination. _

_"But that doesn't mean I can't try."_

_He should've expected it to happen. As Jackson knew, Mark isn't the type to give up easily. When he wants something, he strives to have it._

_Just like how he strived to have Jinyoung. And he did._

_As how Mark planned it, he confessed to Jinyoung. And of course Jinyoung would say yes. It's obvious that the younger also fell for the red haired. _

_Their story is like of a movie. Jackson witnessed how the two love each other. Despite of their difference, they still stay together, not letting each other go. Although Mark knows, his level is nowhere near Jinyoung's, he used that as an inspiration to strive harder, to become worthy and deserving to have someone like Park Jinyoung._

_Jackson almost believed that the two were made for each other. Not until one night..._

_"Jackson?"_

_He woke up in the middle of the night upon hearing his phone ringing. Turns out, Mark is calling him._

_"Mark?" Jackson asked, rubbing his eyes. God. What time is it? 2 am or something? Why is this guy still awake?_

_He was about to talk again when he heard Mark sniff from the other line. "He's gone." Mark spoke. "He... He left me."_

_That was all Jackson has to hear. "I'm coming." were the only words he said before he head out of his apartment, hailed a cab and made his way to where Mark is._

_At the bar, he saw Mark, sitting by the counter, with bottles of beer around him. Jackson pursed his lips before walking towards his probably drunk bestfriend. Why is he doing this to himself? Why are they both doing this to themselves?_

_Through slurred words, Mark told him what happened but all Jackson got was Mark saying "He's gonna marry someone else." All that came after were a whole lot of crying._

_Seeing Mark in this state is enough to break Jackson's heart, and for him to regret his decision. If only he was braver..._

_"Maybe I'm just not good enough. He didn't even fight for me. Maybe it's because I am not worth it."_

_"Stop saying that." Jackson said through gritted teeth. He can't take anymore of what Mark is saying. "If Jinyoung left you, then it's his loss, not yours. It doesn't mean you're not good enough."_

_"But if I am, he should've fought for me. But he didn't. He just chose to let me go, that easily. He doesn't love me, Jackson. Jinyoung doesn't love me."_

_"But I do."_

_That's his first wrong decision. _

_Saying that he loves Mark. _

_Though it was very much clear that Mark loves Jinyoung, he still went for it. He could be stubborn sometimes._

_That was the first of his wrong decisions. And should he talk about all the other wrong decisions which came after? Because he could clearly point those out..._

_That night when they had dinner. Mark doesn't have his shit together, he could see that. And Jackson knows the reason. As soon as he read the news, about Park Jinyoung, successor of Park Housing and Realty Corporation, finally back here in Korea after his marriage with Im Realty Group's heir._

_After four months of being away, now he's back. And Jackson finds it unfair; how Jinyoung has returned as if nothing has happened when he can clearly see that Mark is still struggling to get back on his feet, taking heavy steps forward, from where Jinyoung has left him._

_Jackson waited for something from Mark. Anything. Any reaction. But there was none. Mark didn't even mention his name. Not even once._

_It could be because it scared Jackson - the thought of losing Mark. It could be because having a little hold on Mark, made him decide on not wanting to let Mark go. He might only have his fingers clinging on Mark, but Jackson held on. He was scared that when he does, Mark will go running back to Jinyoung. He doesn't want that._

_So there goes Jackson's next wrong decision. He asked Mark to marry him. _

_Jackson was happy. He should be. He now has Mark with him, they're married. Mark married him. That should make him happy, right?_

_Having his husband with him. Sleeping next to him and waking up next to him. Spending most of his time with him, living under one roof, sharing responsibilities. It should make Jackson happy. Because he has found a life partner. Mark doesn't disappoint. He kept his end of the deal, doing his job as a partner. Jackson has no complaints._

_So he should ignore the hint of sadness in Mark's eyes everytime he catches him in their veranda, sipping his cup of coffee, overlooking the dark and empty sky, right? And how Mark manages to give a brief "I'm okay" everytime he asks him what's going on with him._

_He should ignore the times when Mark started to spend more hours at work than at home and when he arrives, he heads straight to bed, not wanting to eat dinner with him cause he said he already did. _

_He should ignore that sinking feeling he has every time Mark averted his gaze from him, as if his husband doesn't want him to see something in those beautiful eyes of his. _

_And when their lawyer, Atty. Hong informed him about Mark arranging their divorce papers, Jackson didn't do anything and told the attorney to just let his husband have it. His heart might've broken, upon learning that Mark wanted to break off their marriage, but Jackson could always ignore the pain. He's been doing it for three years already. Why start hurting now?_

_What they had is more of a partnership, not marriage. And all contracts end. Maybe this is the end for theirs._

_Jackson sat on the couch as soon as he finished packing his bags. He's waiting for his husband...well, he still gets to call Mark that. After all, he still hasn't signed the papers._

_As time ticked off, Jackson wondered. Mark will return home, probably? If Jinyoung has signed the papers, well Mark still has to deal with theirs. That means, he still has to sign the divorce papers. So Mark probably would go talk to him. Another part of his brain tells him that Mark might just mail him the documents. And that'll be more convenient for them both. That'll save him from the pain of witnessing all the love which he thought Mark had for him, draining from the older's eyes. That'll save him from the pain of holding back every damn word that would want to escape his 'would be' shaking lips. _

_Don't get him wrong, Jackson always thought of himself as a tough person. But all of that changed when he became too reckless on deciding to open his heart up to Mark, submitting completely._

_Loving someone who he knows wouldn't be able to love him whole heartedly is a shitty decision Jackson has made. But sitting there, knowing that he doesn't regret any of it, is in fact very much shittier._

_Another hour passed by and Jackson's head is filled of images of Mark and Jinyoung cuddling happily and contentedly in each others' arms, and wanting to save his heart from breaking any further, (if it still wasn't the case) Jackson willed himself to stand up, gather his bags and step the fuck out of his shared apartment with his soon to be **ex-husband**. Well that stings a bit, but soon enough he's gonna have to stop caring._

_He only managed to hold the strap of his bag though, before he heard the apartment's door as it clicked open, making Jackson aware that Mark has just arrived. He looked at the clock, it reads 7 p.m. Now, as to why it took this long for Mark to return to Incheon when it's just a one hour drive from Hanam, Jackson doesn't know._

_Jackson had his mind made up, completely made up, didn't he? As soon as Atty. Hong informed him about Mark wanting to break their marriage off, Jackson knew what he had to do. He's fucking sure of what he needs to do._

_He was unfazed, when he saw Mark walking towards the living room. He tried to remain unfazed when Mark looked at him and he saw how heavy his eyes were, how swollen they were. He tried to keep his voice void from his real emotion when Mark asked him if he's leaving. _

_He was doing quite a good job pretending to be uncaring. Pretending that he's done with this, with what they have._

_Not until Mark said those words. "You should leave." He said, his emotions kept somewhere in between his words. "He left me, so you should too." But when those brown orbs stared at him, as if seeing through his soul, Jackson knows he already lost it. Once again, he's submitting. "I've not been a good husband to you. So you should go and leave me."_

_And as Mark turned his back at him, Jackson could only curse as his feet suddenly had a mind of its own and walked hurriedly towards his husband. His hands were almost shaking as he grabbed Mark's arm, making the older face him. _ _"But good or not good, I still love you."_

_He's cursing at himself non stop as he said each word. Mark has been cheating on him, and he knows about it but he still chose to stay. And he had successfully convinced himself that he's fucking okay with it. Mark can leave him in a heartbeat, and now that he has returned, Jackson wouldn't even want to let go? Now please make way for the world's biggest idiot. Jackson really outdid himself for making such a fool out of him. _

_His hot tears streamed down the sides of his face as he tightened his arms around Mark. _

_"I love you Mark, and I'm not leaving you. I'll keep on loving you until you forget him. I'm never letting go."_

_And Jackson knew, he just made another mistake._

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[February 14, 2023]**

"And you are?" 

Jackson stared briefly at the brown haired man in front of him who is seated on the hospital bed. 

"J-jackson." He stuttered before lending his hand out to him which then the older took while smiling.

"I'm sorry if I have no memory of you but, Nyoung said that you're a very dear friend of mine."

Mark, after more than a month of waiting and praying, is now awake. Jackson remembered the fear he felt when he saw Mark being rushed to the emergency room. How his hands trembled while holding the phone he's using to inform Jinyoung about the accident Mark got into. It was beyond painful for him, seeing Mark in a helpless condition. Seeing Jinyoung weep for his love. Jackson thought he would love to see Jinyoung suffer, and regret his decision of leaving Mark. But no, not in this way. How Jackson prayed for Mark to be okay and out of danger.

And now, having Mark in front of him, smiling like he used to, the first time he had met him... it's enough for Jackson. It's enough for him to know that after a series of bad decisions, he finally made a right one. And that is letting Mark go.

"You're really leaving?" Jinyoung asked as they walked along the hospital's corridor, leading to the elevator.

Jackson shrugged. "I think I need to. After all that has happened, this is what I might just need, Jinyoung."

He's off to Japan today. And he plans to stay there for a month or two, to clear his mind. His heart is not in its best condition right now. But he trusts that time and distance will do him just fine.

The airline just gave the pre boarding announcement. It's another fifteen minutes before Jackson gets to be in the plane.

He walked to trasfer seat, nearer to the boarding gate when he saw a white rose lying on the floor, near to where a man is sitting. 

Walking up to him, he picked the rose up and handed it to him. Turned out the man has gone to Japan a couple of times already. He felt somewhat envious, because he is a first timer. Jackson is worried he'll get lost so he took the time to study his map.

"Why not let me tour you around the city until you familiarize yourself with the place?"

It's an offer Jackson can't possibly turn down. The man is kind enough to give this kind of offer to someone he just met.

"Okay then, but I don't think touring around with a stranger is a good idea."

That's when the guy lend his hand out to him. "Fine, to ease your worries, I am Jaebum."

Jackson finds himself smiling, looking at those squinty eyes. Taking his hand, he said, "I'm Jackson."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[October 2023]**

"I've been waiting for forty five minutes, Im Jaebum. Forty five fucking minutes."

Jackson scowled at the CEO in front of him. If he wasn't pissed, Jackson would've made fun of him for wearing a three piece suit at a burger joint. But since he's pissed, he continued on scowling.

Jaebum just waved his hanf, dismissing the blonde. "Shut your mouth, be thankful I even came. My loads of work don't finish themselves, you know."

Right, he forgot. Jaebum is now the CEO of Im Realty Corporation in Japan. Looking back to their first meeting, Jackson didn't expect it. Jaebum, the heir of Im Realty Corporation. The person who married Jinyoung, who Mark loves so much. Wow. It truly is a small world.

"I hate you." Jackson mumbled before standing up to order something.

Shortly after, Jaebum is behind him. "Do you?" and Jackson almost froze.

For the past eight months, him and Jaebum remained close to each other, even becoming closer as time passed. Back then, Jaebum only promised to stay with him for a week and tour him around Tokyo. But since then, they find theirselves making time to see each other every once in a while. Though, those meetings involve a lot of quarrels and bickering, Jackson wouldn't have it any other way.

As hard as he try to deny it, Jackson knows Jaebum had already made his way to his heart. That's the only reason why he chooses to stay here in Japan. 

Jackson's phone lit up, upon receiving a text from his officemate. 

"Who's that?" Jaebum asked suddenly. His squinty eyes darting at him.

"Just someone from work." he said with a shrug.

"Are you dating someone without even telling me, Jackson?" And he could almost laugh.

Jaebum could really be clueless sometimes. Jackson is not sure if he's just really _that _good in hiding his feelings, or Jaebum is just plain stupid.

"And if I am?" Jackson decided to test the waters once again.

With this Jaebum seemed to be caught off guard but manages to quirk his eyebrow. "I want his complete name and I'll do a background check on that guy. You can't go on risking your heart to anyone again, Jackson."

Jackson wants to roll his eyes. So he did.

"Calm your tits. I'm not dating anyone. The person I like is too stupid to know that I like him. Now until he figures that out, my ass is bound to remain single." Jackson's frustration in his situation is slowly surfacing.

Jaebum didn't respond immediately. It took him a few seconds before he finally did. "So you'll just remain single, that's it?"

"No." Jackson groaned. "I want to tell him, right at his face that I love him. I want to let him know that I'm here and waiting. I want to be with him, God. I just want to be with him."

A brief silence before Jaebum spoke. "Then why aren't you doing anything?" Something in his eyes is testing Jackson's.

But all the chinese could do is sigh. "You cannot always have what you want, Jaebum. It doesn't work that way."

"But that doesn't mean you cannot try."

Jackson stayed still, staring back at Jaebum's eyes, he felt a force driving him to say those next words which slipped from his mouth.

"Okay." deep breathes, eyes filled with determination and hope. "Will you go out with me, Im Jaebum?"

It's a question he's been meaning to ask for quite a long time now. And now, he's dreading to hear his answer.

Neither of them, pulling away from deep set stares to one another, a smile started to form on Jaebum's lips.

"I thought you'd never ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's story and how he loved Mark breaks my heart. But at least he has Jaebum now. :)


	8. Special Chapter #3: "MARK"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with Mark's pov. Don't expect too much since he still has amnesia. Okay. Let's get on with it.

**[July 2023]**

"I told you I will cook."

Mark looked over his shoulder while keeping his hands busy with frying some kimchi. He wanted to cook other food but they don't have stock. And besides, this is how far he could cook. Jinyoung is always the man of the kitchen and not him.

"Oh, good morning, Nyoung!" He happily greeted the younger. 

Jinyoung is wearing a white shirt, his shirt which he wore last night before things happened. Hmm, maybe he should've worn the shirt instead. That way, his boyfriend would've walked downstairs, shirtless.

Walking towards him, Jinyoung rested his hand on the counter, leaning sideward, pouring him his whole attention. "I thought we agreed?"

Mark pursed his lips. "Do you perhaps hate the food I cook that much that you insist to cook instead?"

He saw how the younger sighed. "I did not mean it that way, Mark. I'm just saying, I want to do this for you. You should be taken care off. You should be resting and not working. You should-"

"You should shut up, or I'll kiss you." with this, Jinyoung was taken aback and put into silence. Mark smirked. "Now that isn't too hard, is it?" Kissing his cheeks, Mark continued on cooking his specialty.

It's been two months since he was discharged from the hospital. It's been two months since they mived here in Hanam. It's been two months of living together with Jinyoung.

And those two months were filled with so much happiness and love. Although he still hasn't regained his memory, Jinyoung took good care of Mark. Not pressuring him on remembering everything that had happen between them. Jinyoung said, what matters is they're here with each other, spending every single day together.

And of course Mark couldn't agree more. Althougg sometimes, Mark finds himself hoping he'll recall everything soon. That he'll recall how much he loved Jinyoung then, only to love him better now.

"Now what is our schedule for the day?"

Mark asked as he finished eating. Jinyoung handed him a table napkin to wipe his mouth as the younger took care of the dishes.

Following him to the kitchen, Mark talked again. "Don't we have to buy groceries?"

Jinyoung put all the dirty dishes in the sink and turned the faucet on. Mark handed him the rubber gloves. "Hmm, I thought of that too. I relized we've been eating too much kimchi."

Mark snorted at him. "Are you even complaining?"

"No I am not. But, we need other stocks. Don't we?" Mark just nodded. "After this, and after we freshen up, let's head to the market."

As what they have planned, the two of them drove to the market. Mark is driving. Jinyoung taught him how to, which wasn't hard. Although Mark is suffering from amnesia, once he had his hands on the wheel, it's like his mind remembered how to drive.

They first went to the super market to buy some items they have written on their shopping list.

"Should we buy ramen?" he asked the younger who just smiled at him. "What? What are you staring at?"

"Nothing. It's just... You haven't changed. You still tend to buy too much ramen whenever we go buy groceries."

"Oh, really?"

Jinyoung pinched his nose. "Yes, really."

It made him smile. Knowing that he's not that far off from the old Mark. The Mark who Jinyoung loves. How he badly wants to become him again. But he guess, it'll take more time.

"When will you stop staring?"

Mark can't stop himself from grinning like a love struck idiot that he is as he continued indulging himself with the wondrous sight of his boyfriend.

Jinyoung's beauty is ethereal. It's almost surreal. How could this man look this beautiful? With the orange shade of the sunset reflecting on his angelic face, in those deep set brown eyes he loves looking at. And with the warm breeze hitting his chestnut brown hair. How can he look this perfect? And how Mark feels so blessed to see such sight.

"Did you purposely had me drive us home just so you can ogle at me like this?"

Mark giggled. "You guessed right!" 

"You're distracting me."

"How come? I'm only staring at you, Nyoung."

And he could only hear his boyfriend grunt. He just laughed at him though.

Mark doesn't quite get himself. Jinyoung just got himself a haircut, but ever since they walk out of the salon, he can't peel off his eyes from the younger. He's been acting like a live sick pup, he knows. 

Through out the whole thirty minute drive, Mark just enjoyed his time staring at Jinyoung. And the other cannot even do anything about it.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Mark woke up. It's 6 in the evening already. He must've been really tired. He said he'll only have a short nap, but it lasted for 5 hours.

He didn't expect that. 

Sitting up, he looked around to find Jinyoung. But he wasn't around. 

He was about to wear his slippers when he saw a note attached to it.

_I've been loving you from the very beggining. But from this point forward, I'll be loving you right. Will you let me?_

Mark could only bite his lips, hiding his smile, though no one will see. 

He noticed the scattered rose petals on the floor. Jinyoung is too cheesy. _What is this? _

Mark can't contain his excitement as he went down the stairs, where there are still rose petals scattered on every step. Whoever taught Jinyoung to do this, wow, he's thanking him. He knows Jinyoung is romantic, but not to this extent.

When he was on the last step, there he saw Jinyoung, wearing a long sleeved white shirt and cream slacks. He looks so manly, making Mark's heart jump.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Jinyoung teased him after handing him a bouquet of white roses - his favorite.

"Hey, yourself."

Kissing his hair, Jinyoung made him sit on the chair by the dining table. It was dark, but the room is lighted by candle lights making the ambiance even more romantic.

"What is this?" He opted to ask after sniffing on the flowers. "Why on earth did you think of doing this?" Mark is now hiding his grin.

"Don't act like you don't like it." 

"Who even said that I don't?"

With this, Jinyoung smiled some more, reaching for his hand. "I love you so much, Mark. And how I tha k the heavens for bringing you back to me. This hand of yours which I'm holding, I will never let this go."

Mark felt his heart swelling. But it's a good kind of feeling, he'll take anytime. Being with Jinyoung allows him to feel just that. And he knows, he's sure that only Jinyoung, his Nyoung, could make him feel like this. It just wouldn't be right with anyone else. Just with Jinyoung.

The two of them ate the dinner Jinyoung prepared. And like he said earlier, Jinyoung is the man of the kitchen. So what do you expect? Of course the food was awesome!

_ "I see you reflected in today's sunlight..._

_ You are crazily radiant..."_

Jinyoung softly sang against his ear. How he finds the younger's voice soothing. Mark kept his head closer to his chest.

_ "You plant the sun in my heart..._

_ Let's be together, you and I, today."_

Mark hummed along, swaying to his every beat; making himself comfortable wrapped inside Jinyoung's arms. 

_ "Will you be by my side?_

_ Can I hold your hand? Don't be shy._

_ Today we come together..."_

Pulling back, Jinyoung stared at his face, caressing his cheeks softly. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Managing a shaking smile, Mark brought his lips closer meeting Jinyoung's quivering ones. "It doesn't matter. I love you, and I want to be with you. No matter what happens, I'll stay."

He saw how a tear rolled down Jinyoung's cheek before the younger met his lips once again. His eyes did the same. He felt his hot tears streaming down his face. And for an unknown reason, his heart starts to clench. It seems like it's breaking, but each touch of Jinyoung's lips is enough to put the pieces back together.

"I love you so much, Mark." He breathed against his lips.

"I love you, Nyoung. I love you too. So much."

Wrapping his arms on the younger's neck, Mark deepened the kiss. His love and longing emanating though his lips' every gentle move.

He's longing for Jinyoung although he's always beside him. How is that even possible?

But his mind stopped thinking when he felt Jinyoung's hand brushed through his hair as his tongue pushed inside his mouth. God, kissing Jinyoung always felt so right. Like it's all that he needs. It's as if, Jinyoung is giving him life through his passionate kisses.

Not long after, he felt Jinyoung push himself up, wrapping his legs on his torso while doing so. His hands never missed a beat and is now supporting the younger's hips, keeping him in place while still kissing him with the same burning intensity.

Once Jinyoung is settled and steady, Mark started to walk their way upstairs and into their bedroom.

Mark felt the rose petals from beneath his feet as he took off his slippers before putting Jinyoung carefully on top of their bed. 

"You look so beautiful, Nyoung."

Even though the dim light, he saw how the younger's cheek flushed. Making Jinyoung blush comes to him as a reward. It only makes him more certain about how hard Jinyoung has fallen for him. And that makes him beyond happy.

Mark dived in once again, indulging himself with the feel of Jinyoung's plump lips. He felt the younger's hand slip inside of his loose shirt. His hand expertly made its way from his torso, to his abs, and his chest. "Mark..." His shaky voice said. "Please take this off, now."

Mark smirked on his lips as he did what he was asked. "So impatient." he teased the younger before bringing his lips to his neck. 

Jinyoung moaned and tugged on his hair as Mark's lips continued to go further south. His hand scrambled to unbutton Jinyoung's shirt. He's getting a bit annoyed as to why there are so many buttons. Hearing Jinyoung's laugh, only heightened his impatience. "So impatient." Jinyoung mocked him.

"Oh shut your beautiful mouth." and Jinyoung did as soon as Mark's mouth is back on his.

Mark's hand also explored Jinyoung's body, wanting more. He managed to unzip his pants through one hand, and free him out. He wrapped his skillful hands on Jinyoung's impressive length.

"Of, fuck. Mark."

"Yeah." He just said, still working hard with Jinyoung's. His lips leaving wet kisses on the younger's neck. "Come for me."

Jinyoung couldn't quite get a hold of his sane self as he felt his poor self being pushed to his edge with every agonizing stroke Marks gives him. "Shit. I'm... I'm.." he can't even finish his sentence.

The younger threw his head back, making it harder for Mark to capture those sweet lips. 

Jinyoung's breath heavied as he reached his climax, bursting on Mark's hand. "Good, boy." the older said.

He moved off of Jinyoung and proceeded to the side table, and got the bottle that he needed. When he came back, Jinyoung only got frustrated that Mark still has his sweatpants on. 

So to make up for it, he took the courtesy to take off his sweatpants, finally revealing himself fully for Jinyoung's satisfaction.

"Your face says it all, Nyoung." he teased him once again before getting a pillow and putting it on the back of Jinyoung. "This will help."

Applying some lube on his fingers, Mark took a taste of Jinyoung's lips once again. His fingers still did its job and made its way to Jinyoung's hole, making the younger squirm. "Easy." He whispered. "I got you, Nyoung. Trust me."

With this, Jinyoung seemed to let go and let him do what he wants to. Inserting one finger in, Mark felt Jinyoung's walls clenching hard. But he didn't stop there. Jinyoung needs to be stretched out so Mark had to be patient.

Another finger in and Mark is hearing all kinds of _shit _from Jinyoung's mouth. He tried to kiss those away but he couldn't. He himself cannot hold his curses in as he felt Jinyoung's walls constantly clenching on him. Three fingers later and Jinyoung is already panting hard, begging Mark to be inside him.

"P-please... Please, Mark. Just..."

And Mark didn't make him wait any longer. Positioning himself properly, Mark started to thrust. Slowly at first, allowing Jinyoung to adjust to his size.

This is not their first time but, it alwats feel like it is. 

"Oh god, Nyoung." He moaned as he kept on thrusting, finding the right angle to fill Jinyoung to his brim. 

"M-mark.. That's... That's r-right..."

The room was filled with panting and moans. Skin slapping against skin. It's all they could hear. 

Mark burried his face on Jinyoung's neck as he eased himself out of the younger. He collapsed on top of his chest.

"That was... "

Jinyoung doesn't even need to finish it. Mark knows. He felt the younger's hand brushing his hair. 

"I love you, Mark."

Closing his eyes, feeling Jinyoung's arms wrapping around his bare back, Mark could only smile.

"I love you too, Nyoung."


	9. "Jinyoung"

_"Marriage is telling the person you love that you’re not going anywhere and that’s a powerful commitment for two people to make to one another."_

_The minister presiding the ceremony said, looking at each of them who stands before him in front of the altar._

_"We’re all here today to celebrate the relationship of Jaebum and Jinyoung and to be witnesses and supporters of the commitment they share with one another."_

_Jinyoung bit his bottom lip, focusing his full attention on the minister, despite the feel of Jaebum's hand on his._

_"Do you, Park Jinyoung, take Im Jaebum, to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"_

_Jinyoung could almost feel his hand shaking. His hand, which is still held by his groom. Jaebum's eyes radiated nothing but love for him. Isn't that enough for his guilt to eat him up alive?_

_He swallowed the big lump on his throat as he tried hard to stare back at those glassy eyes._

_He could only think back of all the things he had to do just to make this happen. Everything which he needed to let go, what he had to lose._

_He already lost the person he badly want to keep forever, didn't he? What more does he have to lose? _

_With these realizations, he finally managed to say..._

_"I do."_

**[April 2015]**

_"Good day passengers, this is your captain speaking. We have just landed at Incheon Airport. Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the fasten your seatbelt sign is switched off."_

Jinyoung shifted on his seat, making himself comfortable as he looked through the window. This might've waken Jaebum who stirred in his seat and now has his eyes open. "We've arrived?" With a brief smile, he nodded and said a small "Yes."

The voice of the captain echoed in the plane's speakers again.

_"If you require deplaning assistance, please remain in your seat until all other passengers have deplaned. One of our crew members will then be pleased to assist you. On behalf of Air Seoul and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice day!”_

After almost four months of being away and staying in the States, Jinyoung could finally breathe Seoul's air. It still feels good to be home.

Him and Jaebum walked their way towards the gates. 

"Yes, Youngjae. We have arrived. Jinyoung and I would really appreciate it if we'll be driven to our house right away. We are aching to rest."

Jaebum is on the phone right now, talking to Youngjae - his secretary, but he still has his hand on the younger's, squeezing it gently. 

Jinyoung slipped his hand from Jaebum's hold, to check his phone also. When he did, he found a couple of messages from his friends.

**_Yugyeom: _**_Hyung! It's good to have you back! How was the flight? I missed you!_

**_Bambam: _**_Aye, yo wassup man? Since you're back, I'm thinking a get together? Come on, you owe us this much after your sudden disappearance!_

Jinyoung just shook his head after reading what his friends has sent him. 

It's true that he disappeared on them. They didn't know about his marriage with Jaebum. He meant, they know, but they kind of expected him to dodge off the idea. He wasn't even able to invite the two in his wedding. 

Right, he needs to make it up to them. They want to meet up but, maybe he needs to ask Jaebum first.

It was a week later when he finally freed himself from his hectic sched of having press conferences from left to right and board meetings. After a full week, he was finally able to meet his friends.

After putting on his coat, Jaebum kissed his cheek.

"Okay, love. Just text me when you're with the guys. Have fun, tonight. But not too much fun, alright?"

Jaebum hugged his waist. "And please come back home to me."

Jinyoung pursed his lips and nodded. Who else will he be coming home to?

"I will."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[July 2015]**

"Drink it up! Drink it up!"

Bambam cheered whem in one gulp, Jinyoung finished his drink. _This kid... _Oops, his bad. Bambam is a man now, maybe he just forgot about that.

It was one of their night outs, which they usually have at least once a week. Jinyoung needs it. Since he is already being trained to become the CEO of their company. It's a bothersome. Really. Jinyoung didn't want to take over, it's a pain in the ass. But does he have any choice? 

"We're out of drinks!" Yugyeom said before calling for the waiter.

They're having fun, drinking.

Okay. Okay, let him change that. The two younger guys are having fun. Not him. 

An arm rested on Jinyoung's shoulder as Bambam sat closer to him. He smells of alcohol. "Come on, hyung. Loosen up a bit. Your husband is not here, so might as well enjoy being a free man!"

Yugyeom's seconding the motion did not help. But okay, maybe it's what he needs. So Jinyoung let the younger ones pour him shots after shots.

"WOOOOHOOOOO!!!" 

Another loud cheer from his friends after he finished his shot. He stucked his tongue out, hoping to be able to remove the bitter taste of the alcohol in his mouth. But it was useless of course.

Heaving a sigh, he looked around the bar, only to be met by those eyes.

Those brown eyes. What the -

"Hey, hyung!" His attention was drawn back by Yugyeom who is handing him another shot.

When he looked back to where he was staring at a while ago, there was no one there. Now what is that? Is it because of the alcohol?

Shrugging, he accepted the shot and finished it. He's just drunk, probably.

••••••••

He's on the dancefloor. Trying to lose himself. 

His friends? Well, Jinyoung has no idea where they are. They were just here a while ago, dancing with him. But now, they aren't.

He's just dancing. His mind in a fuzz.

He felt someone dance behind him. He wants to mind but a bigger part of him doesn't give a fuck.

Not until he felt a strong hand drag him away from the guy behind him, not giving him a chance to say anything. Now he's being tugged, further away, only did he realize he's being led to the parking lot.

When he looked up, that's when he recognized him.

Those eyes, those brown eyes he saw earlier. Those eyes which he'd dream to look at forever. Only now, the person who owns them materialized in front of him.

His red wine hair, covering the side of his small face. 

He didn't recognize him then. But now, he does. 

•••••••••••••

"What the fuck, Mark?" Jinyoung hissed.

He's on the passenger seat, with Mark driving. All his drunkenness now gone.

How did this happen?

Why is Mark here?

But the older didn't talk. He just drove, and wait, why is he taking him to the hotel?

Jinyoung scowled at the older as he pulled over, parking the car.

"This is not something you can do to someone who's already married."

He saw how Mark clenched his jaw. And when his eyes met his once again, he felt the coldness of his stare run down his spine.

"And dancing with some fucking guy is something a married man should do?"

Jinyoung tried to break free of Mark's grasp when they reached the hotel room. What the hell is Mark thinking, dragging him here? 

When his dad finds out about this. When Jaebum- fuck! Once again, with all of his might, he wriggled off Mark's hold of him.

"Let me go, Mark! I said let me go!"

Mark snapped. "I did!" His eyes pierced through him that Jinyoung wasn't able to talk back. "I did let go, didn't I, Jinyoung? But you should've never come back! Why did you have to come back, huh, Jinyoung?"

Jinyoung was taken aback with what Mark has said. After that night, never did they see each other again. He, with Jaebum, flew to the States where they prepared for their marriage.

Never did he expect that this will happen. And no, he's not prepared for this!

"After leaving me like that.. so broken and scarred, you still have the audacity to return like you didn't just broke my heart into fucking tiny pieces? I never thought you'd be this cruel, Jinyoung."

Jinyoung walked closer, in the attempt to stop Mark from crying.

His heart's wound is opening up again, after he tried real hard to cover up the pain, it's all surfacing again.

But Mark restrained. And Jinyoung felt a pang in his chest. "You said you love me. I know you loved me. But in one snap, you decided to cut me off from your life. You disregarded me like I was nothing to you!"

"Mark, it's not-"

Mark pushed him back. "I loved you so much, Jinyoung. And I thought... I thought..."

Jinyoung pulled him closer before he could even stop himself. Wrapping his arms around the older whose shoulders are terribly shaking, Jinyoung wasn't able to stop his own tears from falling. 

They stayed like that, crying for god knows how long.

"Sorry, Mark. I'm sorry, I had hurt you like this. I'm really sorry." It all came out too softly. Jinyoung's words all came out too softly, afraid to bring more pain to Mark. Cause he doesn't deserve it.

Mark looked up and caressed his face, Jinyoung leaned in to his touch. How he missed this.

"Why did I have to lose you? Can I not have you, Jinyoung? Can I not keep you? Cause it hurts, Nyoung. It hurts so much."

And it happened.

Jinyoung now feels Mark's lips against his. Tears continued to roll down his face as he kissed the older back.

Pushing all thoughts aside, he pulled Mark closer to him, kissing him with all the love he had held back. 

•••••••••••

Waking up, Jinyoung felt his phone buzz.

Only, it's not his.

It's Mark's.

There's a text message, lighting up Mark's phone. He read the message.

It's from Jackson.

_"Hon? Where have you been all night? I'm worried. Please call me back when you receive this. I'll be waiting, I love you."_

Jinyoung froze.

This is fucked up.

Mark, as if on cue, went out of the bathroom. Jinyoung averted his gaze. "I need to go."

Mark held his hand back, sitting right beside him. "At least, stay for breakfast?"

Jinyoung felt it again. But he could only curse at himself. He doesn't have any right to feel pain. He brought himself to this. He has to keep that in mind.

"I have someone waiting for me, Mark." Jinyoung said, standing up from bed and getting his discarded clothes on the floor. "And you knew very well, that you have someone waiting for you too."

Mark was taken aback. He could see that. "Nyoung, I-"

Jinyoung laughed dryly. "You don't need to explain. What happened last night is a mistake. I'm sorry but, our story is long over. We now have different lives to live. We should never see each other again."

•••••••••••

"Goodbye, Sir. And drive home safe."

Jinyoung gave his secretary a small smile. Youngjae is a good employee. He finishes work well. He finds working with the younger, very convenient.

Jinyoung massaged his temple as he waited for the elevator to bring him to the ground floor.

It was a long and tiring day. He's only training, what more if he takes over the company which will happen in a year's time. God, will he be able to handle all that? This is too stressful.

He checked his phone, only to see Jaebum's message, asking him what he wants for dinner. He was about to reply when the shaft opened. His eyes looked for his car, but he saw the person he least expected to see.

"What are you doing here?"

He... he's there standing beside his car. He's wearing a long sleeved shirt, folded up to his elbows, the first three buttons undone.

His eyes, they seem tired. But Jinyoung knows his, is no different.

Mark walked closer.

"I'm about to do something stupid, not to mention very much wrong. But if what he did last night was a mistake, then I would never want to do anything right again."

Jinyoung felt his heart beating fast.

He's nervous.

He's nervous because he knows himself. He knows what he wants.

And right now, he feels his sense of reasoning leaving him.

And when Mark held his hand, Jinyoung could only scold himself.

Especially when he felt his own hands, intertwining his fingers with the older's.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[February 2024]**

_ Will you hold my hand baby  
Hold my hand wherever you go, please don’t let go  
I will cherish you baby  
I will make memories everyday  
Will you believe me now  
Don’t listen to what other people say, will you for me?_

Jinyoung could feel his heart wildly beating as he held Mark in between his arms, swaying to a familiar beat.

Their song.

"Hey?" He heard Mark say against his chest. He loves how Mark looks small inside his arms. "Hey, are you okay?"

Managing a quick and uneasy smile, Jinyoung answered. "Y-yeah..."

This got Mark to wrinkle his nose. "Are you sure? Because you look far from okay." _God damn it, Jinyoung. _"Is there something wrong, Nyoung?"

Mark stopped on swaying, so Jinyoung did too. So this is it, then? 

Taking a deep breath, Jinyoung stared at those eyes. Those eyes which belong to the love of his life.

"Mark, for all the things which I have failed to do, I know a simple sorry won't make up for it. Despite of my promise of loving you, I still left you and broke your heart. Countless times, I did."

Mark starer at him with eyes glossing with tears.

"You probably don't deserve someone like me but trust me when I say that I would never stop trying to become that someone who truly deserves you. Someone who doesn't just love you, but is strong enough to stay with you." Jinyoung held Mark's hand, as his other hand went to his pocket, fishing out the precious thing he's been dreading all day to give. "From the very beginning, you were the one who loved me better. But now, I want to be the one who will love you and treat you best. This hand I am holding, never will I let this go. I'll spend the rest of my days proving how much I love you."

When he brought the ring to Mark's face, he could see how the older's eyes have gone huge, gasping. His hand now covering his open mouth. 

They're both crying now. But Jinyoung didn't mind. With shaking hands, he asked the question he's been meaning to ask.

"Mark, will you let me do just that, by giving me the honor of being your husband?"

But no answer was given, because Mark is already kissing him, almost making him drop the rose gold and diamond band.

Jinyoung smiled as he kissed back his now, fiance.

•••••••••

The next morning, Jinyoung woke up without Mark on his side.

Standing up, Jinyoung felt a sense of fear enveloping his heart as he searched the whole house for him. 

But there was no Mark.

He even called his friends if ever Mark went back to Seoul. Jinyoung is going crazy, thinking of where Mark could possibly be.

They were so happy and in love last night, weren't they? Now why did Mark leave? Did he change his mind? Just thinking of it is enough to break his heart.

_No, Mark.. Please don't. Please, come back._

It was already late in the afternoon when Jinyoung finally decided to drive back to Seoul.

He needs to find Mark. He doesn't know how, but he needs to find him.

But when he went outside, there he saw Mark, standing by their house's gate. Jinyoung ran towards the older, wrapping his arms in the process.

His heart continued to thump hard. He has never been this scared. It's the same as when he saw Jackson in the hospital a year ago. When he thought he had lost Mark.

He didn't know he was crying until Mark wiped his tears away. "Why are you crying?"

"I thought you left me."

But Mark smiled at him. "Now, why would you think that? Between the two of us, who has the habit of leaving? Was it me?"

Jinyoung wasn't able to answer, but Mark continued. "For every god damned step you took away from me, my heart kept on breaking. But did I ever leave you?" Jinyoung's mouth fell open.

"I remember everything."

He just stared at Mark. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for every thing."

But Mark hushed him. "Out of all the memories which were erased, and now has finally returned, one thing remains unchanged. That you, Park Jinyoung is whom I loved, I love, and will love for the rest of my life." 

With his hand reaching for his wet cheeks, Mark pulled him closer, meeting his lips.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

**[May 2, 2024]**

"A good marriage must be built on the foundation of this commitment. In marriage the _little_ things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say, _I love you_ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together and facing the world."

The minister said, giving his earnest smile on the love birds before him.

"It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right partner — it is being the right partner."

_Finally... _Jinyoung could only say to himself. He's standing here in front of the altar once again, but now standing beside him is the love of his life.

How he looks exquisite, with that black tuxedo, and his blonde hair brushed up. He loves blonde on Mark, and his groom certainly gave him what he wants.

Jinyoung peeled off his gaze from his beautiful groom, and listened to the minister. He can't wait to finally exchange their vows, and profess their unending love for each other.

"The road that has brought Mark and Jinyoung here today hasn’t been easy. It’s been filled with challenges that they weren’t necessarily prepared for. But together they’ve taken each one on and have used those experiences to strengthen, not weaken their love."

Jinyoung looked back at his friends... Yugyeom and Bambam who had seen a lot of what he's been through with and without Mark by his side.

And of course, Jaebum... and Jackson. Seeing their intertwined hands makes him smile. _Who would've thought? _

"You look so beautiful to me today, but know that you always look beautiful to me and will always be this beautiful to me, tomorrow, and the next day and the next. As gorgeous as you are right here and right now, I will only love you more and more each day of our marriage.” Mark holds his shaking hand. Jinyoung swore he could live staring at his beautiful eyes. “I promise to be your faithful husband. I vow to love you when the sun shines, when the rain falls, in sickness, and in health, through good times and bad."

Jinyoung felt his eyes brimming with tears. "Nyoung... I promise to be the man that I see now in your eyes—today, tomorrow, and for always.”

The crowd clapped and cheered after Mark finished his vows. Sniffing, Jinyoung carried on with his own.

“In your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole, full, alive. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat.”

Staring into Mark's glassy eyes only did it for Jinyoung. Now, he can't hold back his tears so he let them flow freely.

“I will take your love to give me hope, give me joy, and make me a better man. I vow to make you happy, to make you laugh, to cherish you, and to always be there for you. I promise to be your navigator, sympathizer, sidekick, best friend, and your husband." With the best kind of loving smile he could give, Jinyoung continued. "Finally, I promise you myself.”

More cheering was heard from their family and friends but their attention are focused on each other, not wanting to look away.

"Mark, please take your groom's hand and repeat these words." The minister said which Mark quickly followed.

Looking at his eyes, Mark repeated the minister's words.

"I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,"  
"I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,"

"..for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come."  
"..for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come."

"Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day,"  
"Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day,"

"..and know that my love is present,"  
"..and know that my love is present,"

"..even when I am not."

Mark, with all the love in his eyes, repeated, "..even when I am not."

Jinyoung smiled warmly, despite his tears, as he looked at Mark, and prepared to do the same.

"Do you, Park Jinyoung, take Mark Tuan to be your husband, to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you live, to trust and honor him, to love him faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with him this day?"

Jinyoung felt his tears. "I do." He said, and for the first time, meaning every bit of it.

"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husbands. Mark, you may kiss your groom."

Squeezing his hand once more before letting go, Mark reached for his face, wiping his tears. Slowly, his _husband _closed the distance between them, bringing their quivering lips together.

They heard all sorts of cheers, from their friends. They're all happy for the two of them.

They know how much they've been through just to get where they are now, in the arms of each other.

Mark, rested his forehead on his while staring lovingly at him. "I can't wait to start forever with you, Nyoung."

With his eyes, sparkling with tears, Jinyoung answered. "I've waited long enough for this, Mark."

"It’s my great honor and privilege to be the first to present to you Mr. Jinyoung and Mr. Mark Tuan!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And at long last... I've finished this. Now the last part is posted. It's finally the end of this story. I really treasure this and all I hope is that you enjoyed reading this. The rollercoaster ride of emotions and all. For all the heartbreaks I caused, I am sorry. But I hope this story has taught you something. And that is, to never give up on someone you love. Don't settle. Go for what and who makes you happy. Take a risk. Cry and hurt a little. But keep on living. Keep on loving.
> 
> Thank you for reading this! Love lots from me, to each of you :*


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